Inner Beauty Parry 12/23/21 – Refrigerated Cracker Angst is Still Worth Tempering (The Smile of Culture)

You want to know a physical object I have a fairly strong resentment for? It’s the refrigerated cracker. The cold crisp. The iced chip, not the chip of ice.

I really hate the fact that in any scenario, a crunchy munchy snack could wind up inside of a refrigerator. They get soft, and damp, and icky. Obviously, I’d want to stay away.

I try to avoid those portable Lunchables-for-adults packs for that reason. I just don’t like cold, crispy things at all.

I have, however, constructed scenarios where the carby crisp was allowed to cool off and become much more palatable. Of course, that doesn’t cleanse me of resentment of Triscuit winding up on a dinner plate, and getting refrigerated.

And I’ve indeed fantasized about this silly scenario. Somebody putting out a class-action lawsuit against Hillshire, et cetera…..forcing them to invent a string or something that allows the melba toast to hang just outside the refrigerator. Or some weird thing involving a voucher that has to be given to the cashier.

Obviously, this is silly. And you obviously agree, it’s wrong to waste energy blaming someone for selling a tiny pack of cold cuts with some crackers.

Why waste your breath and effort trying to correct something which has nothing to do with anyone choosing to make anyone else actually suffer any discomfort?

It sounds like a clown show. Something out of a “Far Side” comic. Something that if it were to happen, might make you GUFFAW with your teeth agape.

But for you to stop there, that would be lame. Because culture is still a thing floating around. And this is a metaphor for culture.

The emotion that I feel when I think ugh, refrigerated crackers, can somebody so something?

is exactly the type of thing that leads to traditions that just won’t go away.

They could be innocuous, they could be controversial, they could be helpful, they could be heinous. They can be a lot of fucking things.

But on the part of the person who commits to them, is a mind that seethes with the sensations of

“yeah, this isn’t really necessary, but it makes things better!” and “they hate on us for this, but we weren’t hateful when we started doing this!” and “why would anybody get so mad when we’re just using common sense?”

Maybe it’s food rules, maybe it’s censorship, maybe it’s performance, maybe it’s the respectful language, maybe it’s rewards and punishments, or maybe it’s the agreed upon ideal neighbor or worst visitor.

You can probably think of a dozens of examples of cultural habits that make your elbows tremble with resentment.

But modern society has yet to really do anything about those, hasn’t it? We can only slowly chip away at the solid hunk of cultural satisfaction through giant books about how bad things got in insert community here followed by pages and pages of someone trying to BEG THE UNIVERSE that insert group here stops doing something.

We can change our traditions, but the traditions that seem abhorrent get held as delicately as as infant by the holders of them.

Because it’s all about that indescribable inner beauty people feel. The kind that makes a movie engaging, that makes makes discipline feel dignified, that makes effort feel valuable, that makes actions feel unworthy of belittlement.

What they feel….

when they’re blaming or praising some phenomenon in nature barely worth making a fuss over, but in a way that seems to whimsically satisfy the need to correct problems.

When they’re applying preventative measures to a harmless flaw in labor or leisure, in a way that feels giddily excessive, like some kind of sunlit marriage of childish wants and mature aspirations.

When they’re deriding someone for some preference or experience unrelated to their crimes, in a way that feels like a hero’s craftiest tactics that somehow bizarrely confirms their moral alignment.

When they’re patting themselves on the back for rising above what they see as instinctive etiquette and ordinary justice, as is they’ve somehow leapt beyond the morals inside of fables, like they’ve traveled the earth looking for who is the bullshit maker and given them the right lovely little smack on the face.

Culture itself is people banding together and speaking with mouths popping out their necks these words to each other:

“if somebody acts in a way that feels nastier than all nasty, don’t fucking feel ANY shame in what you do to them”.

Belligerent actions empowered by culture are nearly unblockable.

Unmanageable, impossible to criticize.

Discouragement of that person is simply unavailable in all regions.

Not unless you can see these inside this heart of your adversary. Which is a lot easier if you read my other posts right here.

The cognizance of being excessive,

an understanding of pettiness,

an appreciation for the arbitrariness of rules,

the awareness of the indulgence in correction,

and an understanding that making problems out of small things is not inherently noble.

Those are things mature adults all share.

It’s the big fat grin on a person’s face which shows you they’re feeling “yeah, I’m gonna act despite knowing those five things about being a person”, the type of smile which is guaranteed to make you smile infectiously or frown so hard your jaw could fall off.

With the power of this blog, you can learn to do neither.

I see these scenarios as beautifully sincere tantrums that can be changed from battles to dances.

Fighting through the will of the worst of us is possible if you can appeal to a person’s awareness of their own excessiveness.

In order to engage with and soothe the worst traditions there are,

you just need to see it originates from some fellow somewhere saying

“dude can we do something about this annoying thing?”

a thousand other someones saying “yeah okay”

and a million other someones lowering their eyebrows when somebody happens to interject.

Culture, you are my beast I hope to see finally lie still like a pet.

If the world is to be absolved of its worst traditions, it will require something other than mockery.

You need to help people feel that they can still get around the ill will of others, in spite of all your vitriol.

Inner Beauty Parry 12/22/21 – Coin Flip Decisions are the Posturing of the Heart (and I will swing right through you)

First it was the ability to stack dominoes accurately for show, riding the line between admirable and shallow.

Second, it was the choice of artistic vandalism, straddling the the line between cathartic and depraved.

I’ll add a third example of that caliber. Probably the best.

If there’s any small but interesting situation

that an animal couldn’t wrap its little brain and modest heart around

it’s probably the flipping of a coin to make a decision.

The way you feel when watching a friend decide something with a coin flip,

or if you actually do it

or if a villain in a comic book does it

or a wannabe heroine in an anime does it

is not something a dog or a crow or a dolphin could ever feel.

At their smartest, they’d think the coin itself had some sort of special power,

or that this was a strange little ritual required for you to be content with your actions.

But neither of those things are the case.

If you want a cool little summary of what a coin flip is,

if you want me to tell you what the heart of it is,

if you want that shit summed up for what it really is,

it’s a human being screaming inside, wordlessly

“I don’t want my actions to feel worthy of contempt.”

Nothing irritates a mature adult human

than someone demeaning the value of the things they do.

It can hurt even more, be more aggravating, more irritating,

then even stopping your actions, defeating your goals, neutralizing your dreams.


In psychology, they say frustration is born from having your goals blocked.

But people have ways to deal with others getting in the way of their goals,

by taking comfort in the notion that their actions had depth.

That they were in touch with how strange it is to apply value to actions.

That it’s very tricky and weird to say what human will is connected to what human-involved events.

That they had risen above the hopeless quality of making wishes and promoting ideals,

by recognizing how very ridiculous it can be to attempt to make anything possible,

and yet still hopefully made it possible!

Inside of the flipping of the coin, for a choice that barely matters, for the outcome in a game, for a social interaction, for a life decision, or when determining someone’s fate, there is always that feeling that says hoo boy, what an action this is!

That arousal. That excitement. That brooding. That melancholy. That temptation. That dignity. That ecstasy. That un-primitive rush.

That voice inside that says my will is of the kind that could not ever really be stopped.

Yes, a wonderful feeling, a transcendent feeling, a strong feeling, a luscious feeling, that seems to scream out,

“here comes an unblockable swing with a big damn club of human will”.

And you yourself will acknowledge this is some kind of fabulous and monstrous wrath, but not quite ugly, because it’s backed by an intricate posturing.

You left a tremendous decision up to an even will/will not chance.

You felt how very disconnected and connected you were to your own human will.

You felt how very in control and out of control anyone is about anything.

And you felt how any result of any event can never be the arbiter of what mattered,

but snickers upon the throne of time.

They say that coin flips can ease a person’s regret and increase security in actions.

Well, did you ever think maybe that feeling is directly connected to our ability….

to be quite secure in our actions in spite of our conscience?

What really seems to matter to human beings is feeling as though the things we did

were the kind of things that didn’t deserve to be undone, even if they were.

And that’s exactly why catching the swinging blade

that is a human action is so very difficult.

But there is a way to counter it.

That isn’t something people don’t already do.

You can see it in all the good stories, right?

It’s what you want, it’s what you love,

it’s what you dream for, day and day out!

In spite of all your wishes, you wish deep down,

for the power of wishing to be regulated.

You’re hoping for a way, even if it’s not yours,

to block and counter people in that state you’re in,

in which the things you do to other people

don’t feel worthy of being parried in the slightest.

I can see it in that “somebody stop me!” smile human beings seem to wear.

It’s my dream to explain just how that’s done.

The mighty block of your overwhelming inner beauty,

and the swinging strike made of heartier posture that causes your club to fall.

We’re looking for that way to stop actions that already

feel in touch with their own futility and irresponsibility.

A way to actually create volition in others that freezes them

when their minds tell them nothing’s ugly about what they’re about to do.

A way to actually calm you at your most commendable.

The type of thing which ends good movies, but on paper.

A way to soothe that which is so unlike a beast.

The essence of villains giving up, in a form not unlike breakfast cereal.

So that social interaction’s finally not miserable.

And we can just cry together.

That is what I hope to serve.

So please, be a gourmet.

Inner Beauty Parry 12/21/21 – Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and the Unstoppable Heart of Vengeance

You know about Rudolph the Red-Noised Reindeer, don’t you? It’s an absolutely classic little nugget of popular culture. A cute and epic little song that works as a sequel to ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, the classic poem. It got a famous TV adaptation, and quite a few more non-famous ones.

Lately the song is getting some flak. They it promotes the idea that people won’t stop treating you like shit until you start being of use to them. That you need to acquire a convenient purpose to someone before they stop making fun of you. That they’ll only stop hating you when they can use you.

Doesn’t it seem rather strange, though, that we, as a species, can totally relate to this sour take on a wholesome story? Even the people who still think Rudolph has a good message about self-worth or learning to work with others can totally get why this piece of popular culture needs a good little jabbing.

How exactly can we have so many problems, so many disagreements, so many fucked up situations when we all want to….expose the nasty shit in wholesome shit?

I think the rage against the reindeer is a lot deeper than you think it is. It’s inside of that deep, wry, smiling anger, that things like vengeance and payback and comeuppance become possible for not just shrieking animals, but civilized adult humans as well.

Your heart can sense something a lot more disgusting than a lack of appreciation for someone or pretending to care about someone in the friendly antagonists of this tale, who only supported their anatomically unusual cohort when it became rather practical to sing his praises.

You can feel it in your fucking cheekbones. Something much smarter than hate, right? Something much more keen than a ability to detect bad behavior, right? Something much more beautiful and strong feeling than a need to hurt people, isn’t it? Something for which drastic actions feel as fair is it gets.

Something that makes you almost see red.

That state in which you can detect a person really starting to regret their actions without truly letting go of what made them do that in the first place.

That amber sensation in your diaphragm. That burning in your nose. The trembling of your wrists.

To be sure, you will do something, even as civilized as trying to destroy whatever that vibe is through the way you treat others, to try and fight that.

You have the ability to see people commit to real change, to learn from regret, and to get past their malice.

But inside of that is a warm feeling, a proud feeling, a sweet feeling, an interesting feeling, and you want….to break the neck of that feeling.

The undue blame on you still exists in heart of the apology giver.

The eagerness to poke fun at your innocence.

The need to make games out your flaws. The neglect for making a difference in their actions beyond the kind that comes from…..

childish appeals to act nicely to other people.

Like a fungus coming out of a fancy tree.

A form of growth that mocks that of your own.

Revenge always seems to find a way, somewhere, because, really…’s charged with the will to fight inner ugliness.

People giving value to their actions in a giddy and triumphant way is something you want to destroy. People claiming they’ve reconciled when they could do more is something you want to destroy. People who seem to celebrate the very nature of incidents leading to change are something you want to destroy.

Inside these moments, it’s like your nose shines red and chirps, involuntarily.

And someone who claimed to regret their mockery of you shows something condescending on their face, and you snap. Maybe viciously. Or perhaps more civilly.

You’ll do something to to and destroy that very dumb and ugly feeling of inner beauty.

And nothing, nothing, nothing for the rest of your life will make you ever feel like you came closer to being unjustified for whatever that thing was that you did……

until it does, perhaps.

And you tame yourself.

Feeling okay again, feeling kinder again. Smiling at the clouds again.

But then the story plays out the same way, in someone, somewhere.

The disaster just plays out again.

Because deep down, we are all good at smelling the odor of an egregious heart.

No matter what you did, you were witnessing what makes us so aggravating as humans, and fighting that in your own way.

My goal is to do for us to TAME ourselves for the first time in spite of this being case.

People give into the need for payback, mainly because…..accusations of being heartless and ignorant and selfish really aren’t that apt. Deep down, there’s a part of your that feels like you’re banking everything on destroying whatever it is that an innocent person would be right on fighting.

The excess, the exploitation, the recklessness, the smugness, the apathy, the neglect.

Everyone’s always fighting that somehow. Even in casual social interactions. Everyone’s always navigating around whatever that mysterious bullshitty vibe is.

If you want to know what makes people act insane, you only need to ask this: why to them, does it feel related to more ordinary behavior?

The constant fight to keep people from messing with you, from making rumors about you, from exploiting you, from mocking you, from belittling you.

People get called sick and malicious and heartless and then the volcano erupts.

The smile of bright-hearted cruelty comes into play.

People feel like the evolution of pin-headed fables in those moments.

And I really do believe the only way to stop that is for everyone to get a better grasp on themselves when their hearts feel the biggest.

And prevent themselves from doing the things that feel like the interesting, awesome, controversial, incredible, indescribable polar opposite of what a shitty person is.

Giving no one a reason to ever shine so terribly in response.

There is a way to not need incidents to inspire better behavior. There is a way to not need songs and stories, nor the eager subversions of them.

There is even a way to quell the need for revenge by daydreaming of someone, something, somewhere, destroying whatever that mysterious ugliness is. By pushing your craving for justice to a higher, broader level. That isn’t necessary to unfuck everything.

Maybe you’ll find it here. A method for identifying and restraining yourself and working around what feels incapable of being worked around.

For wrapping your head around others’ sense of positivity and purposefulness when they seem completely out of line.

That is what I offer you, that is my attempt at a story for the ages.

A way to not despise the mediocrity in the approval of others, but rather, guide their will for accommodation through the heavy snow.

Inner Beauty Parry 12/14/21 – The YouTube Dislike Meter Elegy (The Internet’s Final Tantrum)

The destroyed the dislike button a few days ago. On YouTube.

Maybe I should say the “dislike meter”. The button is still there.

And I’m sure a few millions of could feel our stomachs turn. Our lower lips clench. Our eyes take in air as they flared.

As we said to ourselves, “the ability for people to express themselves died a little today.”

As we felt “the accountability of creative money makers rotted a little today.”

“The ability for humanity to un-fuck itself from bad behavior was hurt today.”

It was like the death of a piece of human will. Benevolent urges that live on outside of us.

The desire to correct the nasty, the unhelpful, the hateful, the irresponsible, and the just plain damn destructive among us was damaged that day.

The dislike button was like a fairy tale creature. No matter what your views were, or what content you liked, or which creators you supported, you could totally roll with keeping that meter around.

Everybody fantasizes about the un-fucking of the human experience. You might crave it more than your own very life. You might even die for it. Or of course, live for it. You don’t know when or how or why it would happen but you want it to happen.

And it can’t happen if people can’t say that something somebody does totally sucks ass. You know that can’t happen.

Some corporate guy looked at the hordes of dislikes on video game and movie announcement trailers, and said, “yeah, can we just negate this shit?”

And basically everyone disagreed. I mean, even if it makes YouTube a little friendlier of a place for people to be on, reality should be a contest to see who’s doing things right!
People have to be able to say that something isn’t right! It’s like you’re stifling the evolution of humanity! It’s worse than immoral!

It’s more tragic than people dying on the battlefield, or at home, or old age! Worse than the loss of shared memories! Worse than the obliteration of art! Worse than covering history! Destroying the dislike meter…’s like you’re spitting on space and time itself!

On something broader than the idea of a deity or collective consciousness! That raw and pungent urge to make something less bad than it used to be!

It makes you want to bang your head into the wall! It makes you feel like your mouth’s been taken away, and the mouths of everybody who ever lived and could live who had a small chance at making being a human slightly more bearable have been taped up for some crude imitation of what it means to want to be nice to any other human being!




And yet the rage falters.

While looking at a very small and hilarious YouTube channel, I thought, for just a second

“it’s nice this person can’t get shat on by the public”,

and I felt my resolve, my scorn, my appetite for justice waver. And I felt embarrassed.

It’s sad, right? Something deep inside you that you’ve been wanting to out.

Your suspicion is correct. At least, more correct than incorrect. Broadly, to be sure.

It’s that people, for the most part, really do want to do valuable things that un-fuck the world. Or rather, you could say, there’s a

spark of this that never really doesn’t take part in our actions.

You can tell all the jokes you want, go on all the tirades you want, conduct all the satire you want, scream as loud as you want, even grab someone by the throat and slap them as hard you want, and still….

they’ll feel like they’re not doing something truly ugly. They’ll feel like the anti-ugly. They’ll feel an inner beauty. They might even have….an inner beauty.

And nothing can be done to really fight that wrong feeling version of inner beauty.

Especially in a world where voices are silenced by big business.

Turn the lights down, friend. Cool off for a bit. I don’t want you to lose hope.

There is a way to deal with that “bad version” of inner beauty. There’s a theory. There’s a method. There’s a will and there is a way.

I’ve illustrated it right here. It involves these three truths that you already agree with-

  1. It’s possible to see anything as connected or disconnected to something else to some degree, and people know how to exploit that.
  2. People enjoy being excessive with others, but also have a good taste for fighting that such excess, even to the point of fighting passive kinds of excess.
  3. When you feel just the right kind of inappropriate, a person will feel immutably awesome, in a state that feels like an evolution of childish dreams of being nice.

    By injecting these three statements into your skin,
    by really getting what the hell I’m actually telling you,
    you’ll be able to make being human a little more bearable.

    And extracting the good vibes from people will become a big bit less of a fantasy.

    This I promise. I totally promise, it will help you, at least a little,

    wrap your head around why other people feel like “not the problem”.

    Go and read Seasons 5 and 6. Take the hour or two. Just keep reading. Don’t stop.

    For what other strange means could the world holding hands with itself possibly come into being? What other time, than here, in 2021?

    Help me with this plan. Make the dislike button unnecessary.

    Make beautiful feeling behavior something we can tame.

    And it will be the greatest thing since we learned to control fire.

    Well, what are you waiting for! This is the internet’s final form! Go and consume it!


Inner Beauty Parry 12/13/21 – Netflix’s “Green Eggs and Ham” Holds its Gimmick Carefully

Have you watched Green Eggs and Ham on Netflix yet? It’s quite hard to dis-recommend.

I could say a lot of good things about it. The animation is like the modern version of a 1993 cartoon movie. The characters rise above their cliches just enough to be endearing. The story is pretty intricate, with different perspectives getting revealed along the way of a buddy-heist journey. And it absolutely nails the whimsical Dr. Seuss atmosphere.

But I’m here just to talk about its main gimmick, its obvious gimmick. The fact that it’s adapted from a book which is exceedingly short and succinct. And how this 13-episode saga stretches the hell out of it. Sam I Am only apes the book itself with his speech once per episode. As you meet original characters, learn to love their personal struggles, and soak in the ridiculous scenery, taking the time to recite lines in the classic children’s story is absolutely delicious.

How could anybody hate it? It’s made of all the things that makes your brain hot, after all. How disconnected and connected the adaptation is to the story. The way small conflicts in the book are turned into giant escapades. Mere background characters used for the sake of rhyme turn into interesting adversaries. And the tension, oh, the damn thick tension of Guy am I against Sam I Am in his stern resolve not to consume the aforementioned Green Eggs and Ham.

Everyone wants to have the inner beauty that this show exudes. Almost anyone could watch this and feel their resolve to live, somehow, better injected into them. People who watch this will likely feel just a little more valuable as humans. Like they could fling forward into mayhem. Like they could try something absolutely new and it would turn them into something more amazing than they were the day before.

Of course, underlying that sentiment, is still the potential for rage, for disgust, for exhaustion, for dismay. Green Eggs and Ham on Netflix. What else could you have been?

You could have been more like a sitcom. You could have been too political. You could have looked cheap. You could have made your heroes just plain damn obnoxious. And worst of all, you could have had “Sam’s Friend” eat the Green Eggs and Ham at the end of Episode One! That would have killed the entire point of the show! Hot damn it would have.

Here’s the point I’m trying to make. Even at your sweetest, most inspired, most serene, and even gleeful, there’s someone ready to lash out at someone who seems to be….making a mockery of your in such a mode. This adaptation for the modern audience could have been a variety of mediocre things. So mediocre, it might even cause someone to become affection for the source material, or the previous more straightforward adaptions, that they barely even cared for or never even read or watched at all.

You’d feel hurt for something that was barely even a thing you had a fondness for. All for the sake of feeling like you were destroying that thing, whatever it is, that makes people mock the very best of you. The grateful, capable, motivated, friendly, reasonable, upright, dignified, just plain not terrible part of you. You’d be called a “hatedom”, you’d see yourself as much the opposite, your heart filled with much sincerity. But in your mind, you’d be the one fighting human ugliness.

And the ugliest thing is someone acting like they’re doing all the stuff that makes you so very beautiful inside.

Well, are you feeling vexed? Don’t be, this is your chance to understand why the internet is so ravenous with the urge to determine who’s worth appreciating and who isn’t, and why there doesn’t seem to be a finale to this sheer endeavor. Well, if you haven’t tried, how would you know it wouldn’t work? Come on, have a bite. Read some more of my recent posts. Satisfy that ravenous bite the internet puts in you. There you go, chow down.

Inner Beauty Parry 12/11/21 – That Time I Messed Around with Super Mario Himself

I used to go to the Nintendo World Store a lot of the time.

Did you know Mario’s voice actor does this motion capture thing where he talks to people looking at the screen? Apparently he’s been doing it since even before Mario 64.

He does a few silly impersonations, lets kids and adults ask him questions, and sings songs in the Super Mario voice. What else would he do?

I got an idea I couldn’t resist. I’d ask him if he knew the first Mario game. The first game he was in.

The answer he gave was “Super Mario Brothers, Whoo-hoo!”.

I corrected him and told him it was Donkey Kong. The 1981 arcade game. He was a bit confused, not entirely amused.

I kind of regretting doing this for a few years after. Obviously, you can’t expect a voice actor to know everything about a character’s history in the mass media.

But I don’t cringe at very much anymore. Why? Well, this type of thing is just about fully soaked with all the behavior that makes your cheeks clench.

The kind the straddles the line between the worst and best behavior. That makes you feel beautiful to go through with. The kind I really want to change, because it’s all too common.

What I did back there was an act of testing, not necessarily humiliation or rewarding. What I was doing and what would result of it would depend upon Mr. Martinet’s knowledge. Either I’d be impressed and smile, or unimpressed and sneer.

And it’s not like I was trying to disparage anyone. This was a game, this was a silly event. Even making it look like Mario didn’t know his own games was a mischief few could resist.

And yet, there’s still an underlying urge for comeuppance in these actions. Humans are always trying to gently stick it to people they think just might have more worth…….than they’re worth. But it’s not entirely an aggressive and demeaning thing. It’s so very….game like. So very made up of what it means….to get around the platforms of a social setting.

We’re all trying to navigate in the way we think a famous, loveable, simple, crafty, spectacular hero could and would.

Jump on the head of ill will, to move to some other mushroom.

The worst and best behavior shine like power stars.

I will prefer to try and fall with the air made by a tail.

To avoid the pits even the invincible can’t.

Inner Beauty Parry 11/30/21 – Resentment for Charity Walks (The Knot Into Your Hands)

One day, I heard someone talk about how irritating walks for charity are.

Or, you know, fundraisers based upon pledges and things like that.

One person promises to move, to walk, to run, so that someone else can donate based upon their efforts.

I looked up to see if there were discussions. Someone raved similarly.

Why not just agree to give cash to the helpful foundation?

Make no show out of it, make no bargain out of it, make nothing special or quirky out of it.

Many approved. Many objected, citing that it spreads a message, sets a good example, and overall is a rather special exchange of human effort.

I want you to imagine that there’s a rope in front of your hands. Now imagine that it’s on fire. But for some reason, will only burn out slowly. It’s a special kind of rope.

The situation of the gimmick-based charity, and how you should feel about it, is a lot like a rope tangled in a whole bunch of knots, that you can barely even touch, to begin to make it unravel.

It’s quite sensible to be disgusted and frustrated at a display, at a transaction, such as the walk-a-thon. I couldn’t blame you at all.

It’s rather dignified and decent to be endeared and tickled pink over something like the charity walk actually being developed and committed to.

In both scenarios, neither party has a simplistic take.

Because it’s quite the cluster fuck of human will and effort.

In many ways, a strange corruption of humble charity.

In other ways, a lovely evolution of bland monetary gifting.

It’s the type of thing, which really gets your heart churning with a sort of craving for something resembling real street smart dignity, even if you think that example of behavior brings us closer to or further from it.

The thin line between the inventive and the wicked.

The thin line between the useful and the harmful.

The thin line between the beautiful and the nasty.

You’re not so dumb that you can’t straddle it.

But this world’s not so smart enough that it can describe it.

Or is it?

Hey pal, here’s some safety gloves.

Take the rope into your hands.

I’m close to tears but have never felt stronger.

You can unravel it and gain satisfaction against everything

you didn’t have the words to criticize.

Learn what I mean by “dragon-headed” or “the hunterian opiate”. Go and read.

You see, it is possible for the world to hold hands together.

We just need to wear the right equipment for something so dangerous.

Don’t give up on wrapping your head around why someone else feels beautiful when on the outside they seem the opposite.

If you can do that, all the worst behavior will slide off your skin as you dance inside it.

World peace is possible when “the heart” is unraveled.

Your cravings to eradicate the “bad folk” disenchanted, beautifully.

I am rooting for you, for us, for all.

You desire to unravel everything, and set it all straight, don’t you?

Now’s your chance. For the glory of the internet!

Inner Beauty Parry 11/29/21 – Marching Band Un-Hatred is not Bizarre to Anyone

I don’t really love the uniformed marching bands in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

The balloons and the floats are a hell of a lot more entertaining.

A proud minority on the internet would disagree, but I think most of us really watch it for those wacky smiling balloons and those corny gaudy floats.

Recently I’ve tried to appreciate the marching bands more. I mean, if you saw something like that walking down the street, you’d definitely have you eyes peeled.

You might even enjoy the synchronized trumpet playing in full.

They’re kind of like the glue that holds it together. Or the lettuce in the salad.

Without these squads of ordinary people doing something which is not particularly outrageous or colorful, you wouldn’t really have a big parade, just an expensive one.

If you watch the marchers on a YouTube stream, they even have come off as pretty fabulous and in-your-face.

They’re so much more naturally cool and admirable than the giant poorly modeled cartoon animals and 14 foot cakes with lip syncing boy bands aren’t they?

What would more easily be compared to….a human being, or group of human beings that frustrates you?

Some lifestyle or nationality or economic level that really makes you grumble and mumble until your shit has been lost.

They’d be more like the balloons, right?

So indulgent, so gaudy, so unnecessary, so greedy, so barely deserving of any appeal they have to anyone.

At their very best, they are to be regarded as amusing contributors to society without a any profound value.

I’m sorry, but I’ll have to virtually slap you right there for thinking that. For sinking into the dopamine of resentment.

A better metaphor for who human beings are ridiculously hard to criticize in a way that actually affects them would be someone…..learning to appreciate the marching band.

People aren’t so shallow and dull, especially adults, that they can’t find value and worth in stuff they’ve found cringey and aggravating for years and years.

People learn to appreciate stuff they didn’t. Find beauty in stuff that bored them. Give credit where there never was. Learn to see more endearing struggles in business and behaviors that just seemed like fluff before. They do it very often. It makes their chests warm. Yes, even and especially the most toxic and infuriating human beings who ever breathed.

You can see this shit in the eyes of everyone you ever spent breath criticizing.

In them, there’s that feeling of a beautiful heart they wish was exactly like yours.

“If only everybody was like me” is felt by everyone.

But in reality, we should be asking “if only everyone could explain why they feel like the one who has inner beauty despite all accusations.”

The only thing worth hating is how we’ve yet to actually explain what the feeling of absurd and insightful inner strength is, when we act in ways we know so many are likely to despite.

That very warm feeling, it is so very there inside of everyone that makes you sick.

Perhaps, right now, you feel a little nauseated, at the notion that nearly all the scathing remarks you ever made toward anyone were made toward people who had the same stuff in their hearts that made them feel beautifully human as you do.

Is your only option now to smile in disgust?

Especially since they see you as the floating mascot?

No, because I believe that there is a way to rise above this.

And it’s not through detachment from society nor in figuring out who to hate.

It’s about injecting yourself with the ability to recognize people at their most intense.

You just need injections in your eyeballs.

And I can provide it.

It’s a lot like a weight loss program, really.

Forgive me if you want to be explained to. I’m rather tired.

But I’m only tired because the explanation for what I’m getting on at is right behind me.

This post is not my best work.

In fact, I might say it’s a pretty bad one, a rather awkward cry for help on my part, even.

Go back and read what I mean by “hunterian” or “dragon-headed”.

Those 20 posts are my best work.

That’s your ticket out of this mess.

You need to dissect the sensation of inner beauty, not through mocking it, but by showing how extravagant it is. How strong and interesting it is. How useful it is.

By reading these posts, you can climnb the un-scalable wall with my help.

Get your mind un-blown at how someone that fills you with disgust is not immune to appreciating humbly.

It won’t take you longer than the time you’ve already spent online.

We all want to unfuckup the essence of whatever it us that makes humans so completely indescribably annoying. This may be the best attempt ever made.

I wish you a pleasant hour.

Inner Beauty Parry 11/28/21 – Personalized Morning Greetings for Kids are Just as Cute to the Despicable

There’s a video going around of a teacher greeting a line of young students into her classroom. Every one of them gets to choose which type of greeting they want by touching icons on a wall. Some of them hug, some of them shimmy, some do something like a bow. I’d have to look up the specifics of exactly what they’re doing since I’m not too keen on Thai culture, despite having watched Amphibia.

I really like the high five being something both people choose!

You’d have to be in a pretty bad state not to love the hell out of this video. What she’s doing really is beautiful. It’s about closeness with your students, creating personal boundaries, customizing your interactions, and overall adding a little bit of magic into your day.

Upon further inspection, this is a this a lot of people have done, but let’s pretend it was made by one nice person for now.

I personally, am very glad that our species would universally agree, this is a damn nice lady and should probably be imitated profusely by the masses. But I’m not the type of person who thinks this type of thing is enough to flip the world upside down.

It can only make us a big little bit better to the younger generations.

Let me ask you….what if these kids were a little bit older? And the tradition kept going on for too long? And it became really familiar, or frustrating, having to do this ritual? What if the teacher herself gave too much homework? What if one of the students was having a personal problem that made it hard to enjoy good gestures from other people?

Even things as sweet as this, as innovative as this, could easily devolve into something kind of ugly.

A chance to rebel. An opportunity to satisfy anger. A moment where you can assert yourself as the one in charge.

It’s a bleak piece of fiction, to be sure, but I can easily imagine things like this potentially blowing up the face of the person inventing it, promoting it, doing it.

If hypothetically, she had to stop this beautiful little custom because it caused a problem, and you read about that….would it hurt you? It would make your brain cells ache for a little bit, wouldn’t it? It would make your heart grey for a bit, wouldn’t it?

I wouldn’t blame you for entering a profoundly beautiful feeling state of empathy and frustration.

But here’s what you don’t see. Here’s what you should care about. Here’s where you should apply your need for justice.

Let me knock back the sword of your mind with with a fist of briefly conjured steel, and smash you in the face with something you won’t read elsewhere. Proverbially.

The pain you feel for that woman, in that scenario, is the same pain that other people feel when people take a big dump on their own cultural habits.

The weird little interactions, the strange etiquette standards, the plans and procedures and processes of growing up as a young person surrounded by adults, and the general joy of the shapes and colors involved in the customs that you have,

human beings will defend that just as strongly as you want to defend her.

Cultures begin with wanting to be nice to people. And as they move forward, and things get complicated, they become a lot more problematic and belligerent.

But behind that there’s somebody with affection for the really simple and friendly stuff too.

You’re an internet user. There’s no way you haven’t tried to call out some custom or tradition somewhere as barbaric or unfair or idiotic or just plain deranged.

But how?

How do you plan on fighting that? When that sense of unnecessary but creative spreading of good vibes is at the core of nearly everything that pisses you off?

It could be something as aggravating but endearing as forced handshakes,

it could be something as bleak and sickening as bodily mutilation of the young.

Behind it all, there’s someone smiling at how they’re guiding people in the right direction, despite feeling egregious or pushy.

And you don’t even have anything close to fighting that. Nobody does. Not now, anyway.

All you have are the groans of satire saying “look, how awful, wtf” and the slow march of cultural change which metamorphoses human ambition rather than regulating it.

Of course, 3 hour documentaries about trying to understand how anyone could be like that are definitely good for us.

This way of greeting kids in the morning warms my heart as well. I’d love to see it become a tradition worldwide.

But if you aren’t destroying what makes people feel beautiful and interesting and badass when they impose their traditions onto those they raise,

you don’t stand a goddamn chance at fulfilling your fantasy of the whole world resembling your idea of what a civilized society is.

Every time you complain about “what they do in this place to each other” you’re punching a wall hoping for it to break.

It extends to businesses, neighbors, internet forums, and gamer chat rooms as well.

That quivering misery you get from seeing sunshine in the brains of people doing things that are just despicable.

You need to take a different stance than “what assholes are they!”.

We need to change our positioning besides “just call out the bad people”.

We’ve got to strip down the sense of joyful purpose despite the hate felt by others down to its core elements.

You need to make it so that people don’t lose their shit and get totally mindfucked by their own desire for justice when somebody takes a dump on the things they do that feel just wildly and spectacularly benevolent.

You need to tame that whole fucking vibe if you want anything resembling literal non-parodic actual physical world peace.

If you want anyone to not become an explosion of rage despite them fitting quite naturally into society 99 point 9 percent of the fucking time, you have to stop people from crying beautifully inside with the need for comeuppance.

You have to extract the desire to be civilized from the guy walking down the street, who just did something terrible, and really doesn’t feel terrible.

It’s a stupid sounding miracle but I believe it can be done.

Especially since we all really want that.

If that sounds like an appealing thing to you, read Seasons 5 and 6 on this website.

Read those 20 posts.

They matter much more than this.

I made a system to describe the shit that makes you sit at your chair and writhe as you write, hoping like crazy for a way to wrap sickeningly humble zeal in chains.

So you don’t have to heartfully bitch anymore.

So you can finally rest.


If I may prattle for a moment longer.

I made something that works for me, when it comes to countering others at their most intense, learning how to dodge and weave when someone comes ramming at you with the warm glow of the commonly righteous.

To summarize as quickly as I can, it’s this.

People are cognizant of their own excess.

They know connecting expectations to people is weird.

They like feeling interestingly human with the amazing stuff they do.

They like feeling very anti-shitty, the foe of the mysteriously nasty ones.

There’s an explosive but stable glow of beauty and intelligence and self-restraint and innocent grasping at a sense of value and belonging
at the core of so many things that make you want to condemn other people without any mercy in your tongue whatsoever.

And storytelling helps you deal with that shit by gazing further and further into the big hearts of people you don’t find very pleasant or productive.

The only way to destroy that unbreakable vibe is to keep it in a barrier.

To find a way to dodge and counter and hold the arm of the egregious.

Is to validate those sheer sensations of positivity and helpfulness in the stuff that people know other people know is pretty fucking sickening.

You need to disable our ability to be shocked at how we feel like we’re beautifully navigating the world toward being more a confident badass environment

when haters are at our heels.

The plasma-like ecstasy needs a frigging collar on its neck.

If that sounds like a decent plan to you, a worthy goal to you,

learn what I mean by “dragon-headed” or “hunterian”.

Just do it right now. Read those posts. Please.

I beg your brilliant ass to do it.

I do not doubt one bit there is a big contrast between you and what people say you are.

Come closer to our shared fantasy of knowing how the fuck to diffuse a person at their most ballistically sure of their own usefulness.

Without innovation, we’re only slowly crawling toward improvement, hoping for madmen not to obliterate all the harmony most people dream of.

Those with power causing the biggest disasters being ultimately just being spouses who can’t wrap their heads around the other spouse feeling like the one who was never mean.

You think that if we just keep spreading good behavior around and determine what it is, somehow humanity will unfuck itself.

But the most objectively sweet and barely agenda-based niceties that could ever exist

can turn into sorrowful shitshows because even they can make us feel like we’re being mocked by the shitty people.

If you want this big damn world-ruling species to grow into something else, literally actually get past the snag of awful behavior by otherwise socially skilled people,

you need to deconstruct the sense of beauty and strength in the one causing the conflicts.

It’s the only real way to strike back against the most heinous of us, in us, and done by us.

Not through forgiveness or mercy, but by really not being blown away by how adamant either you or the other party has been.

Not by turning the other cheek, or smiting your foes,

but through insightful disarming.

The kind that retail workers do,

that socially anxious people have no choice but to do,

The kind that a therapist or counselor can barely even fucking articulate.

Something like what I’ve got for you, right here.

A formula for diffusing they who cannot be talked down.

CarHonk Catharsis (The Big Damn Freakin’ Elevator Pitch)

You know what they say about trying to promote your ideas. If you can’t do it in the length of an elevator ride, you’re probably fucked.

You ever try crossing the street in the middle of a traffic jam?

Chances are, one car is gonna stop for you. And there’s a good chance the car behind that car will HONK at the car that’s stopping, just for your sake.

It’s the type of thing that makes you pretty upset. Clearly there’s a good reason for the car to be not be moving. And clearly, the honker is out of line.

Even if you can justify it, you’ve got to push your eyebrows down at something like that. It definitely belongs somewhere in that category of stupid of malicious. And it’s definitely worth quivering and quaking over just a little.

Why press your horn? Why? Why?

How could anyone be so casually awful?

Is everything fucked?


I do not believe that everything is fucked.

Because I believe that our species has been trying to bottle that sort of state for as long as civilization’s been around.

It’s in all good fiction. It totally is.

And you’d have to be smoking something really really really strong to not have that urge within you as well.

That drive to be…..unlike the nasty and the useless and the rude and unhelpful.

Yeah, we crave that, we really crave that. Even people far off on the deep ends of human cruelty…they want to feel like they’re not the shitty one, somehow.

We have yet to filter out the scream of personal dignity from the most irritating and loathsome behavior.

And the best of evidence of this…is when your cheeks start glowing and your heart starts swooning at the thought of somebody………being so very properly improper.

When you can soothe the part of you that feels surprised and fascinated by how intensely you can regard the traits and deeds of anyone,

you’ll be able to bring this world closer to its biggest victory:

real words, real words, real words of criticism that soothe the insightful, keen, nuanced sort of beast that is a human.

Maybe you’ve lost interest at this point. If so, let me grab you by the collar metaphorically and stare into your eyes.

The person in the car honking is not a simplistic fucking idiot.

The person honking in the car is not a mindless fucking dope.

The person honking in the car is not a shitty fucking stooge.

The person in the car, honking as they are, has those fucking rainbows in their chest that you have.

You know this and you fear this, don’t you?

Or rather, you’re scared that no matter how many times you insult somebody like that,

they just won’t fucking change, people won’t fucking change.

Your insults are as slow as sedimentary erosion.

And here’s why. They have that same sense of special-ness that you do
when you’re at your most composed and furious.

And I believe that thing all people have really is rather special,

it’s just poorly articulated.

And my purpose is to explain the shit out of that magic spark of inner beauty that makes a person immune to anything but slow, mysterious self-improvement.

Yes, stranger, I want you to look into that pain inside your smile when you insult someone, deride someone, or shame someone, and think,

this isn’t really that apt, is it?

I want to destroy our need to argue about why anyone would do anything that’s shocking and extreme, causing millions to love or hate them very, very deeply.

That skinny line between the best people and the worst people that you straddle so adeptly is the root of all that can’t be criticized.

I’m not your average blogger, taking minor jabs at big philosophers.

Creating 3 or 4 or posts saying “well, ya know, there’s something kinda not terrible about the people on the wrong side of history.”

I aim to satisfy everyone who ever got mad at anyone and felt as though they’d gone beyond words.

I have something solid. Something unique and forged from raw insight into what a person’s mind is like when at its most unstoppably serene.

I have an idea of how to bottle us. Contain us. Demystify us. Validate us.

Everything on the tip of your tongue, which pushes you to screaming.

It comes down to these three concepts that I illustrate really well if you go and read Season 5 and Season 6.

  1. People, socially have a hidden sense that everything is CONNECTED BUT ALSO NOT CONNECTED, in a way that’s just as admirable as it is exploitable.

2. People have a cognizance, a tolerance, a love, and a disgust, of EXCESS in themselves and others, and a healthy feeling resentment for specific sorts of passiveness.

3. People have an overwhelming affection and appreciation for what it means to be perfectly out of place and very well distanced from human incompetence.

These concepts will all make sense if you can learn what I mean by “being dragon headed” or “the hunterian opiate“.

They’re terms I’ve chosen because they embody a person’s sheer ferocity and craftiness.

And don’t serve the purpose of exposing malice as much as how terribly strong a person feels when they feel like the opposite of worthless.

It might not make sense to you now, but give it time, and you will get it. If you’ve read a philosophy textbook, or know what good filmmaking is, or cried listening to music, or made a really good fucking meme, you’ll get it. I’m rooting for you getting it. I need you to get it. We need to get it. We have to get it.

Think of this as the last gambit before everything stays shitty forever.

Think back to the car honker.

Look at those three terms I just posted.

Think about the goal of capturing lightning in a bottle.

And realize this-

the maker of the funny noise in the vehicle is aware…..

even if they can’t see the intersection in front of whom they are honking at…..

that there may very well be a good reason for the car not moving.

That it’s excessive to blame anyone for simply hesitating at the pedal.

That it’s highly possible the noise will have no effect on pushing any car to move.

That the horn is a form of a primal sort of catharsis not to be indulged lightly.

That they are capable of not pushing the button, and have indeed done so in the past.

That they have likely been in similar situations of bondage and futility before.

That in some ways, they are in a state of freedom, having vehicular autonomy.

That they seem like an antagonist to some drivers, and a potential ally to others.

That this is one situation, small compared to others, and also big, being the moment of the present.

That they are not the only one suffering like this, but must ACT CREATIVELY.

When a person takes an action that is likely to be seen as crude or useless or belligerent,

their chest begins to stir. They feel something deep down. They get warm and mystical. They enter a state above evaluation.

But I will end that lack of articulation.

I will breal that state down to a fucking science.

I want to bring us past our reliance on good TV and literature and music or mythology or even profound poetic works just to come close to tolerating the wrath of all your neighbors.

No more, no more, no more, no more, I want it to end. Just stop the inner and outer screaming and shock and awe about how anyone would find joy in being horrible.

No more people needing to go to forums to find a fraction of the ability to bear all the behavior that seems totally beyond correcting.

And definitely fucking not a need to rely on your own family or community or culture to find a place of competence and steadiness in a tricky world.

In this place inside my dream, there are people looking into each other’s eyes and feeling “yeah, I get why you’d do that, I totally fucking get why you do that”,

and calming. the. fuck. down.

And in this world, the everyday disasters of human cooperation don’t happen. They just don’t fucking happen and nobody screams anymore.

Okay, let’s cool the heat.

Forget about my dream for a bit.

If you’re just bored and want to read something that feels a little bit new, give me a chance! If you want a fresh take! If you like the internet! If you hate your job! If you want to feel close to other people! If you’re here, today, and hope for just a little more insight into why everyone else feels like the person who’s got that insight!

Or you’re just tired as fuck from nothing seeming to go right from the endless project of betterment that the mass media seems to have always wished for.

Maybe if you want to try just one more thing, one more time, before finally, finally, finally, being able to…..grasp yourself at your most intense.

Get around others at their most intense.

Create unity with others despite their intensity.

Fill in the blanks that all the folk songs could never do.

Capture us in a beautiful bottle.

Just need a dopamine hit.

Or have thought 9 hours about why anyone would be cruel to anyone.

By the way, don’t read the whole thing. Just read Seasons 5 and 6!

I really found my stride there.

So, within Seasons 5 and 6, either start from the beginning,

or go out of order and see what interests you.

Sink your teeth into these twenty posts like they’re lasagna.

I promise you, I promise you, I promise you.

This is what you were wishing somebody could have said before.

This is the next big little step to seeing why everybody else feels so nice despite seeming like the antithesis of being good.

If you get that modern fucking Plato vibe, keep going and peruse the entirely of this.

Well, stranger? You’ve already stayed longer in the elevator than you needed to.

Will you stay a while like I asked,

or get out and keep anything from changing?

Got a little pain in your head from the big ego of that statement?

Hold onto that pain. I can help you with it.

I can free you from the irritation that comes with anyone insisting that you would totally benefit from following them.

I can help you not have to walk back and forth with jaw clenched and neck weak,
every time you see someone exhibiting sunshine and rainbows at someone else’s misery.

That’s my offer, a reduction of the headaches that come with witnessing anyone’s joy.

A way to lighten the load of the pangs of interpersonal bewilderment.

Just keep reading, I promise, I promise, I promise.

At least a little relief from the beautiful shitshow that even the greatest writer’s can’t seem to put a wire fence around.

The endless quest to feel valuable.