Inner Beauty Parry 12/22/21 – Coin Flip Decisions are the Posturing of the Heart (and I will swing right through you)

First it was the ability to stack dominoes accurately for show, riding the line between admirable and shallow.

Second, it was the choice of artistic vandalism, straddling the the line between cathartic and depraved.

I’ll add a third example of that caliber. Probably the best.

If there’s any small but interesting situation

that an animal couldn’t wrap its little brain and modest heart around

it’s probably the flipping of a coin to make a decision.

The way you feel when watching a friend decide something with a coin flip,

or if you actually do it

or if a villain in a comic book does it

or a wannabe heroine in an anime does it

is not something a dog or a crow or a dolphin could ever feel.

At their smartest, they’d think the coin itself had some sort of special power,

or that this was a strange little ritual required for you to be content with your actions.

But neither of those things are the case.

If you want a cool little summary of what a coin flip is,

if you want me to tell you what the heart of it is,

if you want that shit summed up for what it really is,

it’s a human being screaming inside, wordlessly

“I don’t want my actions to feel worthy of contempt.”

Nothing irritates a mature adult human

than someone demeaning the value of the things they do.

It can hurt even more, be more aggravating, more irritating,

then even stopping your actions, defeating your goals, neutralizing your dreams.


In psychology, they say frustration is born from having your goals blocked.

But people have ways to deal with others getting in the way of their goals,

by taking comfort in the notion that their actions had depth.

That they were in touch with how strange it is to apply value to actions.

That it’s very tricky and weird to say what human will is connected to what human-involved events.

That they had risen above the hopeless quality of making wishes and promoting ideals,

by recognizing how very ridiculous it can be to attempt to make anything possible,

and yet still hopefully made it possible!

Inside of the flipping of the coin, for a choice that barely matters, for the outcome in a game, for a social interaction, for a life decision, or when determining someone’s fate, there is always that feeling that says hoo boy, what an action this is!

That arousal. That excitement. That brooding. That melancholy. That temptation. That dignity. That ecstasy. That un-primitive rush.

That voice inside that says my will is of the kind that could not ever really be stopped.

Yes, a wonderful feeling, a transcendent feeling, a strong feeling, a luscious feeling, that seems to scream out,

“here comes an unblockable swing with a big damn club of human will”.

And you yourself will acknowledge this is some kind of fabulous and monstrous wrath, but not quite ugly, because it’s backed by an intricate posturing.

You left a tremendous decision up to an even will/will not chance.

You felt how very disconnected and connected you were to your own human will.

You felt how very in control and out of control anyone is about anything.

And you felt how any result of any event can never be the arbiter of what mattered,

but snickers upon the throne of time.

They say that coin flips can ease a person’s regret and increase security in actions.

Well, did you ever think maybe that feeling is directly connected to our ability….

to be quite secure in our actions in spite of our conscience?

What really seems to matter to human beings is feeling as though the things we did

were the kind of things that didn’t deserve to be undone, even if they were.

And that’s exactly why catching the swinging blade

that is a human action is so very difficult.

But there is a way to counter it.

That isn’t something people don’t already do.

You can see it in all the good stories, right?

It’s what you want, it’s what you love,

it’s what you dream for, day and day out!

In spite of all your wishes, you wish deep down,

for the power of wishing to be regulated.

You’re hoping for a way, even if it’s not yours,

to block and counter people in that state you’re in,

in which the things you do to other people

don’t feel worthy of being parried in the slightest.

I can see it in that “somebody stop me!” smile human beings seem to wear.

It’s my dream to explain just how that’s done.

The mighty block of your overwhelming inner beauty,

and the swinging strike made of heartier posture that causes your club to fall.

We’re looking for that way to stop actions that already

feel in touch with their own futility and irresponsibility.

A way to actually create volition in others that freezes them

when their minds tell them nothing’s ugly about what they’re about to do.

A way to actually calm you at your most commendable.

The type of thing which ends good movies, but on paper.

A way to soothe that which is so unlike a beast.

The essence of villains giving up, in a form not unlike breakfast cereal.

So that social interaction’s finally not miserable.

And we can just cry together.

That is what I hope to serve.

So please, be a gourmet.

Published by commanderdoubledge

As strange as Willy Wonka, as sincere as Benjamin Franklin, I am the one who is going to bring purpose to the internet. I am Commander L1 Doubledge.

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