There are many things that I want to say and much I want to do.

This world is overflowing with things that I want to change, and ways I want to find fulfillment.

But for now, in this place, at this point in time, there is only thing I need to do.

It’s a key going into a hole,

it’s a puzzle being locked together

It’s not the cure for everything, it’s not the end of all conflict.

This is an attempt at evolution.

This is the exposure of a missing piece.

This is my big swing.

__

I want a progression.   I want an improvement.

What stirs within you when you hear that, that is where it starts.

This is the thing we have failed to see, but we are really it.

It’s something in the atmosphere, it’s something within you.

I can’t think of any better name.

I call it “Gangster’s Breath”.

It sounds like wry criticism, or maybe something tough and cool.

It sounds like a strange hope.  It sounds like large disappointment.

Allow me to explain why I use this phrase,

why I think it is essential.

Why it can rise above psychology

and all those accusations of passive aggression

that makes up your favorite rants and raves.

__

There won’t be a need for the same insults that we fling,

no need for the same type of enchanted praise either.

Self-improvement will be de-mystified but also not held back. 

By now, you might be tired of my style.

That’s okay.

I only need explain what “Gangster’s Cosmic Breath” is.

And my need for new lingo will to start to come to fade.

Then this thing can fly away and soar into the breeze.

I can then talk comfortably without the use of these such phrases.

I can open up and speak about things I cannot say to people.

I don’t care what side you’re on.

This may help us become more like the entity we claim to be.

Stick with me for one final push.

I know my phrases have been strange.

Just keep moving forward.

___

Now, step back a moment.   Think about “Blossoming Locus”. 

How one point in a large expanse

feels as though it reaches out into everything else, in an extremely light and intangible way.

Look at “The Hunter’s Connection”. 

How interconnected and not connected are always in a flux

based upon what we perceive and do.

Look at “Mischievous Maturity”. 

How defiance and fulfillment are always doing a dance,

how we’re always moving toward an ideal while breaking apart what’s so.

If you can follow these concepts, you can figure out what I’m about to say.

The first is that……there is gentleness

in the magnetic-like pull of “deserving”.

When we crave for something to happen,

when we want badly for some kind of just results,

it’s never a brute or animalistic motivation. 

There is always a softness to it.

Do you understand that?

We want to tug on the universe to make something take place,

that fulfills what should be done,

something based upon the past, to change what is here so,

to make right of the potential of the future.

But there’s always a lightness to that powerful, world-bending desire. 

For infants and for house pets, maybe not, but for us, there’s a smallness to that greatness.

We do not merely push toward our goals, we drag them closer,

like bringing in a person on a shaking raft who could easily fall off,

like some kind of bizarrely sentient magnetic field.

Who deserves what, what belongs to whom,

what should and can happen, all of this, everything like this.

We try to warp what does exist

with the most discerning kind of strength.

But one person’s gentle pull

is another person’s reckless push.

What one sees as calm considerateness in action

the other sees as ugly desperation for satisfaction.

One group of people’s beautiful dance, the most elegant balance

of dignified urge fulfillment and well-developed wisdom

another group will see

as hideous insults toward the beauty of desire

and the stringent boldness of encouraged traditions.

The ultimate scream into the distance for justice, it is the most endearing thing in the world.

It is the thing laughed at with the most amused of scorn.

The casual plea to be treated with more dignity

by the people you have no choice but coerce with,

it is also a thing that makes you groan with frustration

to hear anyone complain about.

Hearing that be done by those who would mock your own way of doing things

also makes you hot with greatly composed rage.

But we are not oblivious to the “pull of deserve”,

which is why we embrace the feel of not being involved with things.

We are not all about this.

There is a part of us that really loves being far from anything,

that doesn’t enjoy being too close to anything.

There is a part of us that is truly and genuinely like a breeze.

Like the space around us that is not us, rather free of base desire.

We are above issues, we are beyond conflicts,

we are not particularly trapped into anything or devoted to anything.

We are as wide as the universe, we are not obsessive hunters,

we see there is even a foolish quality in the attempt at being mature about anything.

We can be detached from things.  

We can be as barely there as moving air is only wind.

We find great peace in sheer noninvolvement.

This is why humans can be so much more easygoing than our animal cohorts.

However,

this is

entirely part of

why we do things

that are so

completely and intensely controversial.

And we can see this bizarre lightness

in the brutal weight of unrestrained ambition.

_____

We are always trying to make our wishes and reality closer together. 

But this is never so simple, because there is always another element to that force.  

Among those of us with brutal pasts, that is, everyone,

When we are trying to achieve something, fulfill something,

we are always kind of pushing the other direction,

in a way that feels impossibly respectful.

When we, through much consideration,

pull based on deserve,

we feel what is like

a cosmic energy of non-brutality, of elegant calm.

And this….it is legitimate.  But the problem is,

we act too proud of it.

Because, inside of that wind of detachment,

there is always a boldness. 

There is something like a determined fire.

There is always an untamed savageness, like in a proud array of stars,

like a flying solar system.

Instinctive desire exists, but can be guided and tamed,

into something more dignified,

and such is civilization’s function.

Opinions about what should be honored clash against each other,

but we can find pleasure in how we form distinctive preferences and hobbies.

Conflict over social order exists,

but we can weave together governance that is strong and even graceful.

The calamity of love exists, but we improve the way we wish for it,

and we may find what we are looking for.

This is what I call the energy that makes us so very human.

The thing that’s bound to happen

when an intelligent creature

understands the friction of everything and one thing,

or any things and no things.

The undulations of all things being and happening

versus things that aren’t there or so.

This is what happens

when we can feel our dreams and bend reality according to them.

This is the phenomenon of a sort of lifeform

who can touch the humbleness of all great wishes

and knows that you can only either DO or DO NOT.

And, who can, with powerful instinct, can feel everyone else working upon this system.

___

Talented people, following instincts but being disciplined.

The soldier on the battlefield, violent but protecting.

The lonely looking for love, selfish but so giving.

Those who must rule, vain but responsible for much.

They all do look upon themselves, despite what others say.

They all are never totally reckless, despite what others rave about them.

They, and everyone, are the kinds of beings who inspire frustration and also awe.

They vibrate with the heat of restraint, the uncanny friction involved in time as it moves forward.

They glow with utter steadiness, even as others get in their way.

We people walk with the dream of peace and civility even as we act with so much fury.

We step forward into the battlefield of human society,

a feeling of detachment helping us feel safe.

We can become unlinked from desire, while pursuing such desire,

not exactly proving our worth, nor making a real reflection of how we think things are.

When we change things, we know that has a vanity.

When we try to reach our goals, we know there are people in our way,

and that they, so abundant, moving like we do, aren’t truly worth resenting.

But we are beings with stances taken and actions made

based on the knowing that there are conflicts all around us.

As time moves forward, and space is traveled, we make our stand, and act,

with an inner heat I doubt that other animals have felt,

or weaved together their communities upon.

What makes us so terribly amazing

What makes us so blisteringly grand in our force,

is that we humans are all too much like our own gangsters,

always managing to come off as the most brutal, and most commendable of civil beings.

We are all like criminals with principles,

making disciplined careers out of finding things we want.

We long to rule over the will of other people, knowing ignobility pervades all space anyway.

We, through treatment, through punishment, through leading along,

through standards and exceptions,

make brutal examples out of adversaries,

even though that fury may not bear real weight on reality as a whole,

even knowing it can feel like compromising of our wishes,

because we do not

WANT TO ACT WEAK

IN THE FACE OF OTHERS BEING SIMILARLY POWERFUL.

We try to improve the strength of our allies.

We long to instruct those who would fulfill much dreams like our own.

I do not believe in smiling sweetly at the pride of cultural tradition.

I do not accept that trying to unite everyone

will be a matter of simply enhancing our love.

I have fondness for the shouts for uniting in goodness

that I see within this world.

But the sheer differences in how this is done

makes me long to claim another path,

one based on the creatures that we are.

I believe that we are

a rule-breaking kind of entity who

wants to fire waves of GOODNESS WITH DEPTH out into the universe.

But what so many see as noble desperation for change,

or an absolutely vile imposition of personal will,

I can readily call the work of a somewhat neutral and controversial path-maker,

since that’s how people see themselves and those they have endorsed.

Like so many infamous underground overlords

that do things their way after winning a conflict against the syndicates of past,

or perhaps, like those who make revolutions,

or those who try to raise their youth reversing shameful ways of their own parents,

I do believe in values that should be not rewarded,

and trying to determine which dreams truly are a kind of noble.

But as for this CULTURAL STALEMATE that we are in,

and as for the EPIC STRUGGLE to FINALLY FEEL RESPECTED in a fiercely connected world,

I see understanding WHAT WE ARE in a way MORE ACCURATE than older generations to be the only path towards that.

We are the cosmic gangster of a thing.

Civilization could have never gotten this far

without lightness in our desperations.

Human culture gets to where it is

when detached people find something meaningful.

Mankind has come so far, and for us to go just barely higher,

we must change the way we “weave” out of reality.

Listen to me here.

As the whole world’s turf is likely claimed by better goodness.

______

When we act, we do create. 

When we create, we do imply.

When things happen, it’s like material being made.

When things are made, they aren’t necessarily used.

When things aren’t used, they are still there.

When things aren’t there, other things still are.

The feeling of doing with passion

is to weave from the tension of “every” and “any.”

They are the same set, but not the same aspect.

To act boldly is to reach into A thing

which is just like so many other things,

but it also THE thing which stands apart from all else.

Anything you do contains the feel of what you’re not.

To vie for something is as special as it is mundane.

Then, to be a human, is the smallest and the biggest thing.

And, whether or not this is a valid way to feel,

it is how we ARE and it is quite based upon

the nature of a reality

where space is wide and time moves on.

just existing is like being creative.

And to take the tension we feel in being just A PERSON and being THE PERSON THAT WE ARE,

and the fact that ANY SITUATION STIRRING FEELINGS

is just ONE PIECE OF THE WORLD

and also THE THING WE CAN ACT UPON,

is to make what certainly feels like a beautiful kind of evolution.

But that such friction is the type of thing that gives us shame for our past selves, and indignation against others.

So then, sharing a common heat, why would anyone insult someone else’s love?  

Why would we hurt anyone else and yet feel we’re dancing on the universe?

Why go down a path that seems laced with ugliness?

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

HOW COULD WE KEEP GOING ON LIKE THIS SO LONG?

WHEN THERE IS SO MUCH GOOD IN THE WORLD?

WHEN WE HAVE ADVANCED SO MUCH

WHEN ALMOST NO ONE ACTS LIKE A MERE HUNGRY ANIMAL?

WHEN EVERYONE IS UNITED IN THE IDEA OF MOVING FORWARD?

WHEN WE ALL FEEL WE SHOULD BE WORKING TOWARD SOMETHING?

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

WHY HAVE SUCH ADVANCED CRUELTY?

IT IS BECAUSE

WE SINCERELY DESPISE THE MISCHIEVOUS MATURITY IN OTHERS.

Mischievous maturity can be that wretched-seeming ability

to prance along in an ugly fashion,

despite making achievements in empathy,

despite actually gaining so many social graces.

To really, actually promote and live some kind of goodness

and yet seem to endorse, and do, the opposite.

To be A PERSON who DOES WHAT SO MANY OTHERS SCREECH FOR IN FRUSTRATION.

To be so proud of DEFYING OTHERS’ WISHES,

to PUSH THEM AROUND SO PROUDLY,

to still show a FLAIR OF NICENESS through courtesy despite that VICIOUSNESS,

to feel the weight of your own fury, and despite all developments, not ever back away

from calm insults and restricted rage.

To be such a mighty gangster of a thing.

To be able to wield serenely

the hypocrisy in yours or others’ breath.

It is like a syndrome no one person lacks,

it is like an illness no collective has ever shed.

Can you feel yourself screaming, screaming, screaming

at someone or some subset of other people who you think won’t simply change,

how they still seem to infest the world by snorting in high malice?

Do you feel yourself shouting, shouting, shouting, like a hero,

for people who fight for traditions that you love,

for people who make what gives you joy?

How you say they help the world,

while sighing with involuntary gladness?

Do you want to know what it is you share, that you have yet to see,

with those you love the most and who frustrate you completely?

Why are the sides

oh so rarely breached?

I will give you a taste

Of my own very “gangster’s breath”.

CULTURE IS LIKE A BLADE THAT SWINGS SO VERY GENTLY.

How can you counter someone who is

NOT GIVING ALL THEIR FORCE?

And the other truth is that

complacency expels an atmosphere despite itself.

How can you rile people up

WHO AREN’T UNMOTIVATED?

How can you make them breathe differently

when they also know what it means to fulfill and to defy, at once?

THE ANGRY INTERNET POST NOW MAKES MORE SENSE

It barely feels worth fighting for

to try and change those who seem to know your energy.

But it is possible and can be done,

by changing their mischievous maturity.

By making them simply a slightly different type of cosmic thug,
not discarding what makes them feel strong,
welcoming a change while still feeling they can hold their own,
while still swimming in duplicitous exhalation.

CULTURAL WAR, I SEE YOUR ESSENCE

We are all working with the same kind of energy here.

When it comes to others’ actions, we are all doing a highly sensitive inhalation,

and breathing back some fire that makes us feel like dragons.

And caught up in the heat of wanting to affect others’ people cosmic respiration,

we have tended to yell and roar more nastily

than any creature simply hunting for a meal.

We outdid any habit of howling at the moon.

We feel the smallness and the bigness of a situation,

the relevance and irrelevance of everything outside of it,

and that pushes us to push onto others, into and past others, far into everything,

bellowing a giant who owns a solar system,

blossoming like a flower that demands no recognition.

MY PETALS RAGE

Blooming quite empowered,

In half denial of how loud we scream,

cause and effect becoming the atoms of reality,

a lack in relevance becoming half the engine of our dreams.

A SLIGHTLY OVER HALF MOON CUTTING THROUGH THE NIGHT

Efficacy and righteousness clashing internally and outward in a stylish war,

barely defying math itself in what feels so beautifully

like a small conflict between people navigated gracefully.

A WISH FOR LOVE TO LEAK

To feel humbly superior, and know it,

to move onward knowing grossness in your greatness, like a hobbling and risky rising crook.

But any sort of grandiose, impressive, glorious-feeling actions

always feel rather like very small improvements to the self, rather minor contributions.

That minorness and that majorness are like beams firing at each other

that combine to form a single image. 

AFFECTION MADE SO STEADY

You interlace your feelings into a cosmic beam of a manifesto,

your feelings feeling as though they are more than what they are,

perhaps because they can weave from and into this reality.

You believe anyone else is just the same, they are just as constricted and liberated by that power as you.

To have that sort of power to believe that feelings are more than what they are,

that’s what it means to be a person, isn’t it? Why would anyone call anyone a person in the first place?

The “person” notion always is a setup for endless pride and fury,

complete in boldness and all sympathy.

Insinuating that humans are “people” is an engine ready to burn

like a dragon going mad in outer space.

A MIGHTY ANIMA ALIGNMENT SAVES US FROM INDIGNITY

“People should be like me” we feel.

“I should be like what people should be”.

As people make small changes to themselves and others,

they feel the weight of everything tip about.

As people take huge and meaningful actions,

they feel the lightness of what it means to do.

These feelings, or rather, these aspects that seem to make up feeling itself,

for what else could it mean to do more than to merely think and act?

they push and pull upon each other,

a dance like lava and rocks engaged in mating.

The conflict of change and stillness is understood,

our tender will does glow and does solidify.

We act, in touch with this power, and as such, come to feel transcendent.

IT WOULD BE GOOD TO CRACK AND REBUILD THAT SORT OF VIBE

We know that to change ourselves is merely a change in phase

and not the makeup of what we are.

We know that all reality

is great as the ocean.

We know that only frozen water

can be separate from the ocean’s waves.

We know that the way that water flows

is a marvel to seize control of.

We can see that gas does move

without any guidance.

We know that atmospheres

cannot be contained without high science.

We know that people can find a way to touch each other

somewhere in the ether.

To want to change anything

is like to change the phase of matter,

which can never be done without the help of messy sciences.

In touch with the power to change something,

The power to change being unlike itself,

We undulate with “it’s a small thing to do,

but worth more than anything”

And we glow with “it’s not worth much,

but it’s got to be committed to”.

To want to change something’s entire makeup, chemically,

to commit to the alchemic quality of human emotion,

to be such a fabulous inventor

is so much like simply wanting to move an object just a tiny little bit,

but also like a triumph of impossible, hazardous teleportation.

YOU FEEL EVERYWHERE AND NOWHERE PULSATE AS YOU MOVE BEYOND MERE KINDNESS

And it feels like this, like a thrilling, charming experiment, because,

we can’t know if our actions will yield what they want.

We can’t know if the results are really just. 

As we weave from “a” versus “the”,

As the whole universe seems to switch from one place to an infinity of places

1 trillion times in a billionth of a second,

Becoming the ultimate ground for ambiguously happening experiments,

We get,

we get,

we get so fired up.

And as

and as

and as

our determination rises recklessly,

with a massively tender kind of sincerity,

pulled back in from interest and instinct into being better than we were,

we get back into it, we rise up, defying the typical behaviors

of inter-human chemistry and world distorting gravity,

up, up, up,

UP AND EVER UP

INTO

A STATE

THAT IS LIKE PLASMA.

READY TO SEETHE WITH FAR MORE VICIOUSNESS THAN ANY MERE FANTASTIC CREATURE

A NAME FOR THE EMOTION IN YOUR FAVORITE FINAL SHOWDOWNS

OUR FIELDS

FEEL BROKEN DOWN

A KIND OF FIRE ALL FULFILLING, ALL DEFYING,

OUR DISSOLVING PARTICLES

ENTERING THE SPACE OF OTHERS

TOO FAST TO MEASURE, TOO DYNAMIC TO DESCRIBE

INSIDE OF THIS WAY, IN THIS STATE OF SOFTLY SAVAGE MOTIVATION,

OUR BLOOD SO VERY BURNING

TIME AND THE SELF BECOMING INFINITELY DIVISIBLE

ALL OF SPACE AND OTHER PEOPLE ALWAYS HAVING ENDLESS POTENTIAL

BREATHING INTO NAUGHT AND ALL

WE ASK OURSELVES

HOW DO I

HOW DO I

OVERWHELMED WITH THIS STRENGTH BEYOND STRENGTH ITSELF

KNOWING I AM SEETHING TO AFFECT THINGS

AS I DO COME CRASHING

HOW DO I SHIFT MYSELF JUST SLIGHTLY

SO THAT DIGNITY CAN COME

SO THAT WAVES OF BEING REALLY BETTER CAN THEN COME

FROM SOMETHING OH SO VOLATILE

AS THIS PLASMATIC SCREAMING?

I DREAM TO TAME THAT COSMIC VENGEANCE

VOLUNTARY AND INVOLUNTARY GETTING SO BLURRY

LIKE UNKNOWN SUBATOMICS

CONVERGING A COLLECTIVE

BECOMING LIKE A METEOR MADE OF UNFATHOMABLE MATTER

THAT CAN BARELY CONTROL ITS TRAJECTORY

BREAKING APART AND MAKING MOTION

THE EXTREMITY OF POWER AND THE SWEETNESS OF CONCESSION

THEY STIR YOU, FRUSTRATE YOU,

SELFISHNESS AND SELFLESSNESS

TAKING ON ONLY A SLIVER OF MEANING

AND YET, AS THEY ENVELOP OTHER SPACE INTO THEIR DANCE

THEY START TO TAKE A FORM THAT BURNS RIGHT THROUGH JUST ABOUT ANYTHING.

So much gloriously awful melting happens.

A fire greater than fire makes it move.

The human being, acting, controversially, with love, says to itself,

I have taken on

a plasmatic dignity.

AND THE PERSON SCREAMS, WITHOUT WORDS, INTENDING OTHERS TO FEEL THAT

MY CAUSE, MY NOBLE CAUSE IS HEREBY

MUCH GREATER THAN ANYTHING YOU SEE AS A FLAW.

IT MAY SHATTER, IT MAY LOSE ITSELF,

IT IS SO CLEARLY BREAKING APART AND DANCING EVER DANGEROUSLY

AND IT MAY ACT QUITE UNLIKE WHAT EITHER OF US WOULD EVER CALL ELEGANCE

BUT IT IS STILL

THE GREATNESS THAT I TRY TO MAKE

IT IS FAR FROM WHAT

IS TRULY LACKING IN GRACE.

IT IS REALER THAN THE GOODNESS OF THOSE WHO DEFY IT.

AND SO I MOVE FORWARD IN THIS WAY,

the passionate human claims,

I SHINE LIKE A FEROCIOUS STAR.

ELSE ANYONE REALLY AND TRULY DO SO WITH GREATER POWER.

I AM NO MERE MISGUIDED GANGSTER OF A THING

I AM PURE AND UNFILTERED HUMAN ENERGY

I BREATHE THE FORCE OF ALL REAL GREATNESS FAR BEYOND ME

I WILL DISMANTLE ALL THOSE WHO ARE MOCKING

I DARE ALL WHO THINK THEY ARE MORE HUMAN MORE THIS

TO TAKE A CHANCE AT GETTING IN MY WAY”

Is what the human being, is what the meteoric gangster

has been really trying to say.

And that ambition is a mode so very hard to change.

____

This endeavor, our endeavor, might be the way to catch that very meteor,

if my ideas about depth in human touch do have any truth to them.

Taking epic actions for some dignified-like cause,

never sure if it’s a deadly frightening hazard,

or some kind of gorgeous, enlightening stream,

the human being acts, with strength and sincerity.

They punch like a hurricane with extensive will so very seething.

But can we catch such a shooting star?
Is it the time for the moralistic monster’s cooling?
I believe it might be.

(let’s have a little time out)

____

Look at the world in its current state.

It’s like we’re all screaming, dreaming celestials who just can’t get along,

As we imagine and we roar.

we’re like solar systems interfering with each others’ gravity

as we try to simply change us and others for the better.

We are like inventors doing good,

but also playing games with what we should own.

We accept we may not be breathing our force right into each other,

even when closely touching.

Others may not be doing the offending that we say they are.

It’s never clear whose particles

are doing some kind of infesting,

And as such,

when we think when others take a chance

to breathe their own way into us,

to infect us with their personal type of wavering,

sensing their lust for “destruction or uplifting”

into whom they just might get to be touching,

we take on a rage that is apt to become screaming.

THE INTERNET FURY, SO CASUAL AND DREAMY

Society has changed, but we can agree, it does seem lacking.

People with authority are being quite reckless and untamed,

But do so, very modernly, familiar with distanced past brutality.

TO MOVE AWAY FROM VICIOUS LEGACIES WILL REQUIRE MORE THAN GUMPTION

YOU ARE ACTING TOO MUCH LIKE THEIR VERY WEATHER

The self and other person,

my kind versus your kind,

what counts as a small or relevant situation,

which alleged origins of morality to honor or fulfill,

which stances to take on social issues

in which government must be entangled,

can you feel the burning that arises from those various angles?

It is not a pointless thing, but we don’t have anything else these wild days.

We don’t have any position to take inside the culture war anymore.

It is overwhelming, beyond so,

and an aspect of you wants to feel a soft subsiding.

Are you not a little tired of this? 

ARE YOU NOT A LITTLE EAGER TO SEE THAT PILOT LIGHT BE TAMED?

How to slowly become a nicer person,

what responsibilities to begin to try to take,

where to go next to find new opportunities for growth,

how better to act, to better will,

when asking for some help

in moving through the world?

Can you feel the enticing chill? 

It has its role as well.

I WILL FREEZE THIS WORLD FOR A FEW SECONDS

Please, please, please,

do not forget the power of the furious, subsiding.

IT JUST NEEDS TO BE A FACTOR AGAIN, TO BALANCE FURY

That wish for dancing toward a better you,

a better all,

it can find a much more stylish balance,

at least more than all of this,

of that

I’m very sure.

I’VE CREATED A MEAL WITH THIS SUCH FIRE

There are times where getting fired up is the only way to bring us closer to dignity.

There are situations where showing drastic resolve is all that anyone can be expected to do.

But I swear

by the incredibly strange power

within the internet itself,

that this, THIS is a time

to cool the paths that do connect us,

so that we strike forward toward the plain ideal

of being really nice.

It is about the time, it’s rather such a place

for a new sort of dignity to our uncanny burning.

TO SEE THE WORLD BECOME A WELL SCHEDULED FESTIVAL OF NICENESS

Thanks to our dear internet, we have gotten too close oh so very quick.

It is not a time to turn back,

but rather, a moment for us,

to reign these passions in.

TO DANCE, IF THE COLORS HAPPEN TO BE HERE

Especially with social media,

some people can grow up very fast.

Find their sense of belonging, find value in who they are,

at the most very strange of times.

Bewildered by their destiny, caught in the pursuit of some kind of contentious form of love,

these epic loners start to gleam with the unreal power of the stars.

They become almost sinisterly good at moving closer to their dreams,

exuding the traits that charm the hell out of those they want their will to touch.

I SUFFERED IN THAT GANGSTER’S TRANSPARENT THRONE

But on this path of overwhelming depth,

boldly stepping around the mines of social existence,

they make horrible mistakes, ugly errors,

so awful they never feel properly expressed

even after it happens.

That beautiful, extravagant feeling of admitting and discussing those high errors,

still not being enough to inspire the other party to say,

“I will help mend you and us”.

SOME BECOME PLASMATICALLY KIND, BUT NOT UP TO THE STANDARD

To never push that side to continue to provide

that very solace that was granted in that bonding.

What this person lacks,

you’re likely one,

wishing to repair a union,

is not the desire for change,

nor is it a lack of strong intelligence,

but it is something barely describable

inside of that uncanny precipice of knowledge and desire.

As you synthesized from your own life and from the media,

you might have developed a gangster’s ferocity,

and may have found some kind of real dignity,

You could have acquired something truly and utterly special, even commendable on every level,

trying far more than any previous version of yourself,

but what kept you both defeated and motivated was this,

something apparent from that introverted sort of life,

coming to another stage, finally making progress to another’s warmth,

was this uncanny mantra, that determined the way you did reach out,

“dignity itself is only ever kind of real.”

I AM PROUD TO DISCOVER THAT PHRASE THAT IS OUR FULCRUM

And the way that “dignity is kind of real” is so or should be so

is always burning apart, producing light,

like a cubic formation of wax that burns apart in ambiguous pace.

Dignity being kind of real is the rising, setting sun we look to

when we try to weave goodness from ourselves,

when we try and reach deeply into the niceness of other humans, to enhance it.

TO PUSH AND PULL AT THE SAME TIME, BETTER THAN OTHERS

Dignity being kind of real

is like the solid earth we stand in, oblivious to its metamorphic foundations and fluctuations.

The move toward dignity is so much like volatile matter.

It has its physics, but it is not truly catchable.

LIKE STREAKS OF GRADIENTS IN PATTERNS

LIKE SAYING A SOLID ROAD DOES WIND

The move toward dignity

is always somehow very quaint.

And that is why it takes

so very long to reach.

That motion is always hotter than a flame,

And walks in a form that is somehow actually tamed.

That kind of mischievous state of matter

inspires admiration and disgust,

for the other and the self,

toward any example of potential to become a person.

SEETHING DISGUST FOR PRACTICAL NICENESS

But more importantly, that awkward move toward dignity,

toward something better than maturity

is what will cause us to determine

when looking for love

or some form of belonging

“that is a fantastic fire I want by my side”

or “I shall walk away from that ungentle flame”.

Now do you see why love is so hard to find,

and why culture never works out as fabulously as it claims to do?

REJECTION IS ALWAYS AWKWARD AS TRUE LOVE

We are endeared to the barrier-breaking partial selfishness of love,

because it manifests the power that we put into the notion, “dignity is kind of real”.

Dignity only ever coming closer and closer to real

So very tricky and unofficial in the power to really have it,

is what brings a belligerent, serenity-laced, gangster-like endeavor

into the tone of traditional stories from cultures fucking everywhere.

THE WELL-TAMED CRIMINALITY IN THE BREATH OF ENFORCING YOUR RULES

A DECODING OF WHAT YOU FIND ENDEARING IN FLAWED HEROES

An inability to fulfill all dreams brings sympathy toward those we think are honorable.

Their dignity is vague and yet loved more than anyone’s.

Goodness always being unmasterable is something that pulls us very close to each other,

with intentions and results becoming an ecology that elicits awe.

WE SCREAM OUR FLAWED WEATHER INTO OTHER CIVILIZATIONS

And as these odd technologies make that happen even more,

as we speak to each other in forums on the internet,

as dignity feels so hard to find, but so very enticing,

as we put boundless energy into our pursuit of simple well-forged kindness,

can we learn to actually be

truly and finally

a little more like what we say we are?

Supplanting, not debasing the mystique of counterintuitive kindness

THAT IS THE GOAL OF MY LIFE, THAT IS MY SINCEREST ROAR,
THAT IS REALLY MINE AND YOURS
TO PUSH DIGNITY A LITTLE HIGHER

The internet wants a purpose.

Do something with it.

I now here beseech you.

That’s all we’ve really been attempting,

to set and tame the fires from our dreams,

like this wish of real online connection

that seems ready to maneuver into place.

I WISH TO FIRMLY HUG THE WORLD

I would be resolute in helping that thing happen,

and spend my life towards elaborating on what I mean.

Because I can only see everyone else so close

to pushing us into a more dignified global village.

(What else to do with being stuck at home?)

Despite all of that blistering vitriol, all of those comfy niceties,

that you will find here on the internet,

I do believe it’s part of something

much more dignified than you would even hope.

A world in which dignity being kind of real….

and knowing trying to make it fully real….

is NECESSARILY EGREGIOUS….

is what weaves us together…..

rather than the basis for our contentiously justified rage and pride,

for what we’ve claimed is gentle strength

but is actually not too fucking great.

We are using the grace we’d claimed is truly strong already.

It can be like the theory of relativity,

Like the exploitation of matter being energy.

CULTURAL JOY CRACKED APART,
TURNED INTO COSMIC MULCH FOR PEOPLE WEAK AND STRONG
THE FULFILLMENT OF THE INTENTION OF CHILDRENS’ TELEVISION, HOLY FUCK

This should be the role of our time, to civilize the flaming,

To make the cooling distance more inviting.

It’s not impossible, not in a world that’s changed so much before.

(the belligerently nice tone of forum members and lurkers
is pretty cool compared to proud tradition)

That change shall not come from a mere wish for kindness,

but through knowing how it is we blossom outward

when we get ready to say something to someone on the other side.

And through feeling the way

we try to condense the world community

when we express to the everyone

listening to you online.

The uncanny mildness

and the bewildering vigor

undulating across the earth

being a form of intercultural communication

as of yet unsurpassed.

(The Internet, An Injection Into The Power To Glean From Culture Shock)

If we can change the particular way we respirate like cosmic gangsters,
we can take a few steps past the ills of culture,
and even, yes, understand how to be more dignified
toward any realer kind of friend
who’s made the choice to give us their deeply sweet and meaningful time.

(I briefly bow to someone who helped me reclaim myself)

I believe we can…figure out what it means

to do your best with the people near you.

We can sort out our

world-leader level moral fury

deeply intertwined in our lover-level search

for real and just belonging.

(THE MEDIOCRITY FALLS APART LIKE FOOD ONTO A PLATE)

If some wryness should arise, if we’re ever not so nice,

that can just be the weather of the world.

The internet does not have to be stuck together.

That’s not how it functions in the first place.

It can be where we put our crankier vibes.

(the internet, the living metaphor for connection and lack thereof)

(we manage to pulsate style, moving so lightly and so far)

We do not have to have the same exact version

of what the most endearing dignity is.

Otherwise, what worth would there be

in actually navigating this eccentric sort of world?

Amicable rivalry will be

the nature of the better us,

far past our current stage.

(WE CAN SHOUT AND LAUGH TOGETHER AT HOW WEIRD WE ARE)

We can still find developed dignity,

inside the differences of what feels beautiful to us,

and what in achievements and adjustments may be required

to move closer to those we want next to our more special flames.

(RELATIONSHIP ADVICE BECOMING MUCH MORE COMPETENT)

Life is hard enough already,

even with everyone doing their best.

The least that we can finally do

is move closer to what we call

a strong type gentleness.

(THE CONTEMPTIBLE GIMMICK OF CULTURAL GUIDANCE SENT TO REHAB FOREVER)

I look to the contentious raving online

and see a colorful and brighter future.

I see us being less enamored with mere depth to our tenderness

and more in love with using that

as the place from which to change.

We can do all of that stuff

people hoped would happen

through all of history until now.

We can, as a species, try to be

pretty badass

all together.

(A GENERATION THAT MADE THINGS FUCKING WORK)

________

(very peaceful now, here in the last revision of the climax)

I can almost feel a cool warmth in the internet,

I can feel its everywhere and nowhere.

(A TECH-BASED EXTRAPOLATION OF THE EMOTIONAL SYSTEM BEYOND THAT OF BEASTS)

It is there that we are already doing so much extravagant new stuff

that alters the waves we shoot,

that, as creatures attempting dignity,

we can’t help but emit.

(TECHNOLOGICAL CHANGE MANAGING TO ELICIT A TEMPERED NICENESS)

I would be honored to contribute even slightly to this cause.

Just one person would be enough,

because it may be already happening.

The climax of mass media, the new origin of good caused by actual electromagnetism.

(EVERYTHING’S BEEN DAWN, JUST MAKE A BETTER MORNING)

The cyberspace is not a hero, it’s no utter envoy of peace.

However, what matters is the benevolent potential for it to reach.

Onto this plane, the internet, is where I send my dreams,

if the plasma firing gangster is indeed to change.

I just want to say,

Use the solidifying internet new ways.

That is my manifesto,

And my sincerest dream.