Sheer Dignity Modern Morality Webcomic Number One

I have decided to start making comics even though my art skills are minimal. Maybe this is what I need to do to change the world.

Society had naked queer race swap Shakespeare, and it was good, until the communists attacked and shut down the theatres for 125 years.

By the time we decided to fight a pandemic, it was already too late for musical theatre. The Tonys got bought by a pizza franchise and stuck an apostrophe in it.

In the future, no one even remembers why their logo is a pizza shaped trophy. Oh if only we had more dignity.


L1’s Almanac – You Wouldn’t Cringe at an Animal

Animals can induce many of the same emotions in us that humans do.

But you wouldn’t cringe at one, would you?

It’s hard to a feel a mix of embarrassment and resentment for an animal.

What’s so different about them?

They can’t have fondness for what you want to do, relate to what you wish for them to do, but choose to go the other way.

Animals can make you feel all sorts of feelings like affection and rage, depending on what they do, or what you find adorable or nasty.

But you’ll never ever see an animal as worthy of truly sickening shame.

No wonder “cringe compilations” having nothing to do with animals.

The key to understanding human hatred

involves seeing the desire for people to be like you.

We cringe at others not just for being unlike us, but for desiring to be unlike us despite seeing what we want out of them.

I cringe at people not trying to see what really makes them see someone else as cringey.

Would animals cringe at each other? Of course they might, if we anthropomorphize them.

Tell me what cringe has meant to you, in ways others might not have seen.

Let’s get cringey with it.










MY WISH TO SAVE AMERICA – The Emotional Invincibility of Politicians Dismantled


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dBtQ0Ii9fU

We are approaching a day in American political history

that is likely to be….well…..not something we’ll ever be proud of.

If you’re listening to me, you’re very lucky.

You’re about to find out why,

inspite of all the satire,

and the post-apocalptic stories,

and the pleaing and begging for people to come together and treat each other with kindness

why everything has wound up the way it is.

I’m going to tell you why politicians are emotionally invincible,

and how that relates to the infinte unkindness people show each other in spite of all their attempts at doing otherwise.

I’m wrapping a chain around the indignity you despise.

Only something as big as the end of sheer unkindness

could possibly be big enough to defuse the shameful acts that are about to take place within this country

and cause disgust around the world.

It is unlikely that I will change the world before this horrific day.

But I would hope that someone sees this, somewhere, and says,

“Oh, that’s where humanity made its big mistakes.”

Are you ready to learn how politics has become what it’s become?

Get ready to stop giving the slightest fuck about political cartoons for the rest of your life.

Get ready to cry for the futility of satire.

Get ready to find hope for a better future.

I’m changing the world, right here, right now.

Listen to me.

The reason why people love orange man

and hate orange man

is entirely based on his ability

to distance himself from his actions whenever the time calls for it.

No matter what he does, 

or, you know, insert your politician if you really object 

to anyone criticizing orange man, 

he always knows how to feel his own flaws,

agree a little with his opponents,

sense the good reasons why he’s hated,

and remember so fondly,

I’m still me.   

It’s the technique people use to project themselves as attractive when trying to find a mate, isn’t it?

Loving yourself no matter what you’re doing.

Whether it’s a confident, kind person, or a raging politician,

you can’t unwrap the individual by tearing down their actions or what they are planning to do.

And so they march onward, undaunted by all criticism.

It’s no wonder the orange man was a thing that happened.  


He is simply an extension, an expansion of the type of being human 

we give ourselves and others positive feedback for.

Distancing yourself from your misdeeds, and remebering that you’re still you.

What makes orange man so horrifically strong

even if he may support some pretty screwed up stuff

is that he has the type of positive energy that we use to uplift ourselves and others.

He is unhinged and dangerous in his capacity for self-advancement.

No amount of satire and accuations of evil is ever going to work against him.

He could get voted out, and still, people would look at him as either only heroic or malicious.

And the tale of human mediocrity would march forward, forever dreading and hoping for people like Trump to take power.     

Never learning how to actually prevent that kind of thing from happening.

Here is the other thing about the orange man, and of course, about politicians in general.

You can criticize their personalities, mock their dreams, demean their aspirations, take a huge dump on everything about who they are, 

and they will still feel 

“I have the power to do a lot of good”.

We’re often taught that people become corrupted by the lust for power.

I think politicians, leaders, rulers, bosses, everywhere

become corrupted by the notion that there is always a chance

for them to make the world a better place.  

For them to please so many people under them.  For them to reach great heights in purposeful dignity.

For them to become the type of powerful and loved kind of person they wished they’d be when they were so much younger

No matter how they change, no matter their intentions, no matter their demeanor, this politician still sees,

by virtue of their position, plenty of opportunity to defy the ability 

to deserve such hatred from the vast populaiton.

Do you get it now?  Dictators don’t feel evil because they’re always a few or maybe many game moves away 

from earnestly defying any guilt that they might have.


Even if their reign crumbles,

they feel connected to that possibility of generic and uncontested political adoration.

The orange man feels no shame because     

he really would prefer that everybody likes him,

or at the very least, that far-from-evil feeling part of him still shines.

As long as the possibility of being seen as a hero to many, much more than before, exists,

a politician will anesthetize his or her profound anguish about his failures

with the cries of love from even just a few million followers.

Always dreaming of becoming the generically and profoundly respectable person 

they think they were destined to become

before ever making enemies out of anyone.

The orange man could very well be one of the worst things to happen to this country.

But it’s not being rotten to the core that makes him dangerous.

It’s that ability for a person to never feel defiled by their own mistakes.

It’s the power to sense your own cruelty, and be comforted by what inside of you does resemble human kindness.

Donald Trump is humanity.    He’s got the bigliest humanity out of all us.  

And that is what makes him so disgustingly strong.

That is what makes him so something like invincible.



Wouldn’t it be nice if we could live in a world where no one loves that kind of person, 

and can stop them without failing to slice through them?

Oh, what a lovely dream. 

I think he’ll probably lose the election.

And his attempts at doing extremely illegal things for his gain won’t end well for him either.

But I don’t want things to just move on as they used to.

no matter how much joy you take in his likely humiliation.

Because inside of the orange man is something we congratulate ourselves for,

and it keeps us from being as kind to each other as we wish.

Just boil it down to spouses struggling to get along, an arguing couple, trapped inside the misery of marriage.

Why are both parties so damn invincible?

Why does neither ever really win an argument?

Why does the painful treatment of each other just go on and on,

maybe to be tolerated, maybe to result in violence or divorce?

Why do husband and wife always get sickened by each other?

It’s this, my friend.

You can never unwrap the deeds from the person, leaving only someone to condemn.


You can never graft all effects onto that person, leaving only a resume of evil.

You can call them out on what they did, 

but they’ll feel “hey, I’m still me, so I’m not gonna let you criticize me.”

You can try and tell your family member they’re unkindly, filled with poor intentions,

and they’ll feel “why are you so mad, I can always just do the right thing”

This is my theory about our political world.


The only reason people ever started loving the orange man

and the reason why people tried to insult him in the manner that they did

only ended up making him much more popular

is that our politics is simply a microcosm of a two-person human relationship.

One person can feel all of their mistakes,

and remember that they still dream of kindness in some fashion.

AND THEN DO SO MUCH DAMAGE

Someone can genuinely feel remorse for broken promises,

but they will get aroused at knowing they still have the strength to become the person that they wished

AND CAUSE GREAT PAIN ALONG THE WAY

The things that make you cosmically despise the orange man

and that which causes some to be socially infatuated with the orange man

come from being able to see what makes someone powerful, borderline invincible.

To find a way to let criticism bounce off of you 

despite feeling how heartfelt the anger of other people is.

To find a way to feel like a hero, capable of fulfilling dreams, 

no matter how many people you’ve hurt.

This is what politicians are.  That is what people are to each other.

Donald Trump (or if you prefer, the politicans you despise) 

has not become what he is only because of his choices,

nor because of the people who support him,

or because of what Democrats did,

or because of anger towards radical social justice proponents,

or the economy,

or foreign countries,

or the stars in the fucking sky.

The orange man became president because we did not, as a species, find a way to separate strength from malice.

Because kindness has always been the thing most susceptible to being tainted.

There’s always the invincible dream of being a good person swimming around inside the hearts of sentient beings.

And if you can’t see that, you’ll only go so far in preventing people from turning to superheroes like the orange man  from acquiring massive amounts of power.



Donald Trump is only doing what we do to try and make other people respect us.

And that’s the shame I want you to live with, enablers of the orange man,

and those who failed to slice apart what made him so endearing.

You all failed to see that Donald Trump represents everything you love and hate about other people.

He exploits the friction of purpose and result.

He detaches himself from what he’s done, so boldly,

and congratulates himself for things he might not have done, so cheerfully.

And that’s pretty much the only thing that stimulates our political fury or affection.

The power to exploit the connectedness and disconnectedness of things,

in order for a humble chance to weave something in the future.  

The hypocrisy which shines with uncanny justification.

The selfish desperation charged with trust for all your allies.

How could we have prevented this?    

How could you have prevented an orange man crisis?

By not experiencing any profound emotion when observing someone behave the way orange man does, has, and will.

All Trump has ever done is shown the ability to coat himself in an unpierceable rainbow of deep, deep self-worth.

And that is the most volatile force any human can exude.

It is at the center of why people cannot stand each other.

We’ll always find a way to keep others from trying to pin malice onto us even as we feel their needles hit us.

We’ll always lift ourselves up even when we can see how fucked up we are.

The problem with politicians is that they feel like heroes in the truest sense.

The problem with married couples is that

neither spouse feels they possess no dignity whatsoever.

People feel connected to all that’s kind and just within the universe.

So you may have a very hard time splitting apart what you see as their evil.

You’ll go on the internet, make 10,000 comments over the course of the year,

and the stone of someone else’s unkindness will fail to shatter.

But that’s what I want to change.

My dream is to finally cut the boulder of indignity.

Because dignity itself is what holds its molecules in place.

Now do you see what makes Trump’s will so hard to slice?

I hope that I have dented just a little of

 what makes you admire or despise the orange man

and reshaped your understanding of human beings 

not for the sake of politics, 

but mainly because I want

people to stop being so extravagantly unkind to each other.

 Now, slash through much unkindness, like within my dreams.



Nothing short of flipping the world upside down can save us.

I present to you, the missing emotion.

The passion for weaving something out of the disconnection and connection of things.

Meet me on my website.

We shall belittle politics for the sake of a kinder world.

The Epilogue: Why All Fiction Is Exactly the Same (WORLD EXPLAINED AND KINDNESS REMAINS)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aJIby5NJ48

Do you want to know something?

All fiction is the same, exactly the same.

There is only one exception.

Purely informational fiction for very small children, or perhaps for the learning of language.   You’ll learn what a tree is and basically nothing else. 

So many cartoons for toddlers do this.


But what is all the other fiction in the world made of?

What fiction makes you go, hmm, well, this is more than just a telling of what a person did.

I’ll tell you.

 All fiction is about stimulating the part of you that sees contrast between purposes and results.

Literally any story can be analyzed using this system.

All the way from Aesop to mythology to theatre to movies to your favorite anime.

What a character does, what choices they make, and the way things end up for them,

It is entirely about goals having unexpected consequences.

And as for which characters are portrayed as lovingly noble,

contemptibly vile,

captivatingly both kind and sinister,

or absurdly neither great nor worthy of shame, you can strip it down to

what it is inside of them which allows them to navigate the friction

between what they want and how they actually get there.

Your favorite heroes, your favorite epics, and anything else of the sort,

they all share a common trait

“This fictional person in this fictional setting

represents a great way to attempt approaching how to reach their goals.”

There might be 1 billion students right now reading a book

and being forced to write essays about some story, about some heartrending protagonist who ends doing something purposeful.

But is there any point to that anymore?  

That has failed us preparing for what the world is going through.    All of it has failed.    

And yet, we have come close, so very close.  I can feel it in the magic of the connection among people on the internet.

We have been building up or muscles to confront this flaw of humankind.

I don’t read novels anymore.  

I still feel ashamed of it, but that is only because I am conditioned to believe that reading books is good.

I genuinely believe that my being sensorily and emotionally bored of reading books has served me tremendously.

Not to discredit them for lending me that power.

Let me ask you, what has been the goal of fiction?

The goal has always been to tell ourselves that being human and having dreams

is always about navigating the friction and the tension between

what something or someone seems to be made for

And what they may actually do.

That is how you gain from stories, that is why you love stories.

It’s all about the endless struggle to want to be starting at the right place.

while also knowing the right way to stumble when the right place is never quite so great.

Fiction itself is just a way to deal with possibility only going one way, but us having to do something about how to reach possibilities and dealing what they’ve caused.

Fiction is a reminder that any situation is just one situation, and also linked to every other situation.

Suspension of disbelief is a sham of a theory.  You know that Batman is not a real person.   What makes you think his comics are engaging is the insistence that

His fighting of supervillains represents a smooth and ambitious insistence

that the way he deals with troublesome people

should have some major implications on the way YOU perceive dealing with people and wishing for justice.



Have you ever heard someone say

I will reduce storytelling itself to a few tenets?

Do you think I’m insane?

Let me ask you again, do you believe in the possibility of people not treating each other like garbage?

How do you think we have ever come closer to this goal in the first place?

It’s all about that part of you that wavers between passion for what something should be

and what something may be.

I quintuple dare you, pick up your favorite book, your favorite manga, the best movies ever made,

even the myths you might worship or find very tantalizing,

 and especially, narratives that try to advance a political purpose.

They all have an emotional fetish for

the right way to stumble.

But that such preparation for meaningful stumbling, for complex adjusting,

to the goal of being dignified for other people,

That has been the game we’ve been playing the entire time.

Open your eyes.

A lack of understanding of the purpose and results of using fiction to guide us

is in the way of us being good to each other.

Yes, consume all the fiction that you want,

But until we see this mechanic of inspiration through fiction

for what it is,

That peacefulness everyone dreams of as a child will never ever come.

Do it, do it now.   Read a story.   

And see what makes you find it lovely, or stupid, or interesting, or ridiculous.

You can boil it down to characters becoming more in touch with the interplay of goals and consequences.

You want world peace, do you?

We’re not too far from it.

If we can go to the library and say “I  know exactly what kind of satisfaction this place gives me”

Then we will have truly evolved.

Before, I will analyze a certain type of highly beloved fiction for you.  There are many stories where it’s revealed that someone’s reality is merely a type of simulation created by other people.

If you recognize this music, perhaps you know what I’m talking about.

The creation of this simulation or this pre-designed human experience by other people

is often a result of them craving power over others, the goal of acquiring materials, or the result of people aspiring to preserve  a remnant of the of the world in which they lived.

And these stories usually are very captivating indeed.

But why?  Why is that?   WHY?

BECAUSE

Those stories embody the interplay of wishes versus actions more than anything else.

For people to design a small and contained version of reality is to crave or to possess supreme power over the possibilities within the universe.

To live inside such a fabricated space is to be completely subject to someone else’s dreams.

But neither of these is quite the case in any of these stories.

These citizens of a fake city are free to do as they please, and yet, they also have a chance to make things actually change.

And yet even so, the people who created that such reality, despite their lust for making a world of their own design,

Still crave for possibility and captivating dreams to exist within that curated spacetime.

You have the creators of a continually resetting world, fulfilling their dream of control and power, while also tasting the inspiration for new possibilities in conflict as well as love.

You have the people forced to live inside of that world, given prefabricated names and roles, but never ever subject to living exactly the way that someone intended.

To go along with that model, to make it more fascinating, some people in that fake and genuine world are hard-wired to seek to change it.  And as to how far they go, whether it yields anything, is extremely likely and unlikely.

Almost as though that resembles the will of the people or the ideals that you see as the most worthy of praise or disgust.

There is an unexplained desire that exists which has received the most focus and the least explanation.

A passion inside of us, a passion that has no possibility of not happening, a dangerous passion, an extravagant passion.

That dream that somehow or other, the things we will do undulate into reality itself

in a way that is good but also exciting.

For we all know that human goodness hits such very giant roadblocks.

And this is why you get people coming up with such magnificent tales involving the unleashing of sympathy-worthy power combined with such intimidating weakness.

Regardless of who is alive, regardless of who is where, causes and effects cannot be simplistically linked together, when creatures who appreciate possibility itself are to be involved.

The dimension of possibility is what we see when a story makes our heads and hearts feel oh so very heated.    Why, especially that anime that treats possibility as an actual dimension, where scientists try to teleport humans but can’t because the scope of possibility is too great to produce enough energy to fuel the potential inside of one human life.



Why does time travel engage you?  How about stories with people entering alternate realities?    And how about reality warpers who seem to undo actual events?

Because seeing causes and effects start to fall apart is very, very tantalizing.  We know if we could separate cause and effect, so many things would be possible, and yet also, if this were to happen, we would still be subject to the confinements of possibility that even the reversing of causes and effects could actually create.

How utterly beautiful that we create this type of content.

This is my theory, my criticism, my adoration, my love

 for why we get so very upset at other people

for reasons besides the mere taking of things we want from each other.


Yes, this is something the internet needs to hear, one reason that will change the way you see conflict on the internet.

Because we all have lust for creating a future which resembles our desires.

And on the path to that goal, we know so very many odd and strange and freaky and very bizarre things could happen.


When someone is simply selfish or following their leader, we feel pitiful.

When someone has stopped caring about what possibility may yield, we feel sympathy.

But when someone has decided to get strange, to get ferocious, to be bewilderingly flexible and intimidatingly adaptive,

That is what produces amusement, awe, disgust, and even the highest form of love which may possibly exist.

When someone is in touch with the contrast of goal-orientation and means-complication, that is what makes us silently adore someone completely

like a comforting night of stars, or hate them with the fury of the harshest daylight sun.

But in between those things, are people we have very complex things to wish upon.

The people we fall in love with.  The workers we get along with.    The frenemies, the awkward allies. 

Those whom you can’t seem to pick apart in the way that leaves you satisfied.

And in fiction, this is usually a person who takes lots of bizarre actions that we would never do.

The common type of character of this sort is one who is constantly ready for their own death,

And yet who is always completely prepared to take action in the near future.

What makes you find a character truly magnificent?

It is someone who prepared to sacrifice themselves, to quickly and proudly die for a dream, and yet, though always seems to respect the possibilities they have within their hands.  


They long to see what other people might do upon entering the lives of others. 

They crave to leave a legacy, but seek to be a powerful player within the present. 

They also tend to have a very heavy past they are both highly burdened by and not.

They seek to change the world, or mend some situation in their own way,

based upon their past, knowing that they could easily fail. 

They have gone somehow above mortality by reaching only for a singular possibility somewhere within reality.

They have gained a sense of worth inside their life by not disrespecting what could defy that goal.


This type of person knows that the past and future are as connected as they are not, that the present moment in reality is as huge as it is microscopic, that their dreams may never become valid, and that all dreams have a powerful sort of humbleness.

They are the people we do not call heroes or villains, but only “great”.

They are so very hot and cold.

The coldest of these characters seek to crush someone else’s ideals and prove what they wanted really mattered, despite knowing no one can ever prove they are truly dignified. 

The warmest mainly wants people to inherit the type of niceness they aspire to.

And often it is cold and heat together, it is the desire to push but not defile the very weather.

Do you understand exactly now, why the greatest characters in fiction are so endearing?

Do you see what is represented by the glow emitting from warriors in a dimension where people can throw planets?  Why they scream and shout but somehow remain impressive in other ways besides mere power?

Every moment born anew, they must develop further power, undulantly.

Or perhaps those shows where people make huge sacrifices for uncanny abilities?  Or base their superpowers on huge risks that are immensely dangerous?

They exploit the ability to create possibility and that makes us feel admiration for such hunters.

It’s all about the friction of purpose and result.

Fiction’s friction is that of itself and the actual world that exists.

Fiction is the friction of possible reality and this real universe.

And you can prattle all you want about which of these stories are great.

You can even insist that our reality is just the workings of someone else trying to test us.

But if you don’t see the way fiction itself inspires us, a world in which people treat each other kindly can never come.  No, the only other way is brute force, and the end of possibilities inside of time and space.

If any such creature could do that, perhaps they’d be pained by the lack of time moving forward,

And they would rely on us to make a pleasant dream.

In my opinion, the only way to make this world as magnificent as it should be

Would be to finally reach that point where nobody tries to ruin the dignity of another.

A place where we respect each others’ dreams.

 If you can see the passion for turning dreams into reality,

You can pull apart what makes a political leader seem so very glorious or frustrating.


You can use that to look at the way you approach relationships with very unusual or hard to deal with people.

Everyone dreams of being nice.

And then things get complicated and we become fanatics of what gets us there, rather than kindness itself.

And you cannot worship kindness and expect it,

But you can praise yourself with more discerningness as you’re tantalized by the exceptions to ordinary kindness.

Because we’re all that impressive bastard who is empowered fiercely by detachment from oneself.




I am uncovering the missing link between serenity and savagery.

I am Commander L1 Doubledge. 

Maybe you could call me Pollyanna Prime.

I see the good, even in horrible people.

Because I had the type of evil which hurts only a special select few people.

I am just here for the dream of being nice, which has always been available.

People are not ruled by the friction of rage.

Otherwise, we would not have the United States.

The dream of true kindness can actually come into place.

I only need to see it come upon your face.

It may not happen now, it may not happen ever,

But I know that somewhere within possibility,

the end of global conflict and local hatefulness

finally being power washed away by the water of focused dignity

is actually out there.

And our country is almost certainly where it will begin.

I am ready for it.

The possibility of me changing the world.

An actual way to validate my life.

The thing we’ve all been trying to do.

Absorbed from the world to me,

Sent back from me to you.

For dignity itself, wherever it resides,

I will lift up the moon and change the very tides.

The possibility of getting kindness right

Can only happen when we see how volatile a dream it’s always been.

When we can see ourselves failing to be kind and hoping to change the rest of the world to confirm that it was kindness in the first place.

I hope to be the last one to ever cause that much change, to ever push this hard to make up for my sophisticated but unkind ways.

Culture is over, you don’t matter anymore. Nobody has the right to talk about their culture being great. It’s all just the tension and the friction of purpose and result.

Humans being good to each other belongs in the hands of the people, not in stories, not in leaders, not in heroes, not in anything, know that you see what fiction has been trying to do.

May you no longer stumble when you try to be a decent person going to the fucking grocery store.

Are you watching me, beautiful young lady who gave me everything I needed to do this?

I could never redeem myself in your eyes.

But I hope that if you see this, you’ll know exactly who made it happen.

and that I made up every moment you had to deal with my mediocrity,

And especially the time I pled to you

Like someone about to reset a universe, hoping the next one is slightly kinder,

followed by splitting the entire world and sewing it back together.

I never gave up on correcting what I saw in myself.

I never lost sight of finding a purpose.

I never gave up on an amazing result.

I always wanted to defictionalize what fiction had been so sweetly vying for.

Now I feel more comfortably linked to time and space.

My work is done, and may I be lucky enough to actually see it unfold.

Now, unite the world, but keep possibility intact.

Remember me as the one who refracted the light inside the ground.

I only did this because of how much pain seeing people act a certain way had given me.

Let the fracturing of cause and effect be your comfort in the kinder new reality.

Just split them apart for everything but the desire to be usefully kind.

I would love to see my energy, your energy reach you,

and for you to put it back and set it somewhere new.






I RISE ABOVE POPULAR CULTURE: How Frustration Over Virtue Explains The Internet, Tradition, Rage, Love, and the Raw Essence of Human Interaction on an Astonishing Level

If you take a look back in time, inside your philosophy textbooks, you’ll find that one of the big topics is

virtue.

Those people talked a lot about what virtue is, how to acquire it, whether it has value.

However, one of the big controversies about virtue was that…..you could never prove if someone had virtue if they didn’t do something with it.

And if someone were to act virtuously, you could never exactly say if such a person was really virtuous.

So, you may be wondering, how can we come to be more virtuous? Or rather, how have we been trying to be more virtuous?

Surely you agree that an absurd majority of human beings like the idea of “being a good person”. No matter what they’ve said about you, no matter what they’ve done,

there’s almost no one who isn’t enticed by being great.

But there’s something really ugly-feeling and apparently malicious

in the way of making people just plain great to each other.

And there’s something really elusive and bizarre

that we can’t seem to hold onto properly in our mission

to try and be a great freaking person.

And we fail and fail and fail at that childish dream of everyone being nice.

Because of our own inability to move forward with the goal of kindness.

And so many other people get in the way of that ideal of simple niceness.

We can sense their tendency to blunder it.

We have an odd affection for their inability to hold it.

We let the real, raw human niceness slip out of our hands over and over.

And so, without speaking, without saying, we let the following force guide us.

Or rather, it’s what we’ve been doing since we became human.

We’ve been acting this way. We’ve been doing things this way:

Acting upon

and living for

doing some apparent good by

or creating something elegant out of

the desire to exploit and to fulfill

the tension or the friction

of what something is meant to do

or should do

with what it actually does

or may do.

In spite of all the selfishness, in spite of all the primal rage,

within nearly everyone, there’s someone saying

“I wish to navigate this world well, so I can get what I want without being a major nuisance.”

“I have dreams about being a good person, and I’m not great at it, but I’ll find a way to push anyone out of the way who happens to defile that.”

Look at yourself. Look at your neighbor. At the people you live with.

Take your average moment of transcendent-seeming rage.

Where does it come from?

Somebody insulting your desire to navigate the social space.

Or perhaps, only the possibility that they are doing so.

Maybe they’re not at all……maybe what they have….

is just a shred of the lust for stifling the possibilities in your life

that you claim that they possess.

And that through hurling insults, through taking drastic, maybe even violent actions,

what you are saying is

“I will do my very best to touch and negate the essence of how you treat me”.

Because when other people try to promote their personal way of trying to be nice,
they too act upon a lust for manipulating possibility that’s universe-cuttingly powerful.

I do not believe that people are simply foolish and brash when they have a public freakout. Or when they post something filled with rage and scorn upon the internet that is really very bitter and lacking in a tone of kindness.

Right now, you’re probably considering going online and being ready to mock someone for getting upset at what YOU consider to be actual nice behavior or intentions,

You’re probably eager to go online and write out to someone how utterly furious you are at the things that they really enjoy doing.

My friend, my internet friend, you’re trapped. Free yourself from this.

No, I’m not telling you to log off. I’m not telling you to not make memes or watch people on streams or divulge every last one of your lovely dreams.

I’m not even saying that you’re wrong about anything you’ve said online for your entire life thus far.

I’m telling you to recognize that everything anyone does is a very big thing.

I’m telling you that any drastic action can be seen as a small thing.

We always act upon the overwhelming and comforting

bigness and smallness of

being just one person.

That’s what drags you to the internet, am I right?

So many times you go on a forum or social media,

and your posts and comments feel pointless, despite being so very satisfying to make.

The things other people rant and rave feel so very frustrating

when they’re not like what you’d say,

and yet it’s very nice to feel connected with those people.

Every time you go online, your emotions undulate.

You can feel the undulations inside of time and space.

Always connected, always not. Always feeling your closeness to others rising and falling.

Your content and frustration with others moves like waves in the ocean.

And if you’re following me, perhaps you might feel a little shameful

at what the internet’s done to you.

But that’s okay, that’s actually really great.

Because the internet is like a very tiny and gigantic model of the nature of human love.

When you are in love, in its many forms, you are close to someone, and yet you are also distant from someone.

The closeness and the distance to your lover fluctuates as you embrace each other.

And you also understand that to love someone is such a very strangely small thing,

when there are so many other people in this world.

And to love someone is such a very huge thing, since it occupies all of their emotional space,

and it resembles so many other things happening in nature.

You posting online are so very small and very huge.

What you do online is always caught between significance and lack thereof, and that is what guides you toward it.

Posting on the internet is not just a way to try and feel big,

it’s a way to feel good about being just one person

in such a very big and strange universe.

Is that not

the tenderness of love?

Is that not

the dangerous flaw of love and devotion?

Is that not

a good way to explain human emotion?

When I say “I really love that we have the internet”

it does feel weird, considering how much I want to change it.

But that’s just the passion for doing something meaningful by the friction and the tension

of the intentions of things versus the effects of things.

Let me tell you now, my friend.

Cast your eyes upon the history of this world.

Look at tradition. No, not traditions that are born of mainly wanting something cool to do,
like dances and parades.

I’m talking about things we force our family members to go through.

I’m talking about roles that our societal leaders demand us we take.

I’m talking about the effects of counter cultures that stray from the ideals of rebellion.

I’m talking about the ways of acting to your fellow human that so many people are upset with,

but will be defended with absolute exorbitance.

I’m talking about the things that make you want to say

“WOW WHAT A HYPOCRITE

THAT DOESN’T EVEN HELP PEOPLE”

“WHY THE FUCK DO WE ALLOW THIS”

“I’M SICK AND TIRED OF ANYONE ENABLING THAT”

Look upon it, my love, my darling world,

so very tired

of the uselessness of satire

the stagnation of criticism

the exhaustion of the will to change someone else,

Look upon them, I beg you, with eyes that see, that finally see,

it is all about

the ability to do supposed greatness by

the burning friction,

the mighty tension,

of what something is supposedly meant to do,

and what something may actually do.

Every time you post a statistic about what your adversary has done,

every time you make an egregious insult against them,

you know that

YOU HAVE A MEDIOCRITY THAT YOU JUST CAN’T SHAKE OFF.

You know that when you prop up your own achievements,

you know when you congratulate the efforts of your side,

THERE’S A WARMTH TO THAT YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE TO DESPISE.

You’ve lost your power.

Because you don’t even know what makes traditions oh so mighty.

It’s all about purpose and results, dancing together, attached together, never leaving each other, never belonging together, but always making up the mold of reality itself which always has to be.

This is what you feel when you watch a really good movie or anything like that. I am not endorsing anything new.

There are things which are, and things that may take place. And to say what is made for what is always a bit of a rebellion.

And to defy what has been is always very much like a tradition.

Let me tell you why customs and cultures are so hard to cut through.

Because they are aware of the wistful futility

of trying to claim that anything is meant for anything else.

Anyone who enforces a family tradition

knows they have only a tender grasp upon other people.

Tradition is like rubber, so very hard to break.

But if you can see the way it bends, if you can tell how its properties do waver,

you can find a way to push upon it.

You can get people to act upon your interests.

This is how it’s been though, isn’t it?

How one culture replaces another, how one tradition is supplanted by another.

It’s all about navigating that mighty lust

for the friction and the tension of purpose and result.

But I don’t even care about culture and tradition that much.

My goal is to change what happens when two humans interact with each other.

The games they play, the things they say, the looks they give each other.

The choices they make, the paths they take, the burning loves and hates they navigate

as they try to balance the exploitation of and cooperation with a fellow human.

It’s all about the friction between

the things you do coming from YOU

and the things you DO being what they are.

Do you get now, why people who live together
tend to be so mad at each other?

How people fall in love
and end up in that trap regardless?

And do you get how people witness
that mediocre kind of lifestyle…

and take forever just to learn how to defy it?

Parenting is the final boss of human mediocrity

because is it so charged with shame for the inability to bend possibility.

Even people with the noblest dreams of really really really just being nice to everyone

empowered by the will to defy what their parents perceived as as decency

are so swamped inside that interplay of others’ promises and actions,

it becomes nearly impossible to cleanse ourselves from the ugly use of that lovely energy.

I can barely even tell you more,

it brings me so much disgust to associate myself with how I was raised.

My apologies if you read this, but my goal is to make a world where people look at people like those who raised me in the face and say “I’m not having any of that”.

And they’ll say “I don’t deserve to be so eager to talk”.

All they have is a lack of respect for the use of someone’s energy.

All they have is a casual desperation to release their own.

And it’s something so ugly that I think the whole world could change

if they knew what they were.

The base form of what I loathe

is a parent who expects their child to talk when spoken to,

and gets really excited when their version of niceness isn’t appreciated.

People with a less than mediocre passion for really changing themselves when they approach speaking to another person

are the ones who prevent people like me from becoming the heroes they could have been.

They have no idea how extravagantly unhelpful they are.

And I’d like to free them from their vivid mediocrity.

Some people will tell you that American traditions, whatever they are,
are the thing we need to make us great.

Others will say, we must follow the righteous path of history toward what seems like

an enhanced version of the equality that we have.

All I want to do is see the smile on the eyes of people that don’t respect me

turn softly into genuine regret, by merely understanding how great a gap there was

between how beautiful they felt when getting livid,

and how much beauty people put into navigating around the effects of that very classless rage.

Of course, I also desire my closest friends

to see this world transform completely.

I want to the introverts to cry with joy at our sweet victory.

I want the extroverts to use their power more responsibly.

The internet is what has allowed me to live an amazing life

despite this atmosphere I wish to see be changed.

I still have the whole world to thank, and the city in which I’ve been living.

I still have several heads I wish to bow to.

But the internet is the means by which I’ve come to savor so much of what I love.

I think, I hope, I wish, that that FEELING of something deeply dignified

just under the surface of the internet

comes to be validated by yours truly.

That anyone who reads this blog will walk away from it with freshened eyes
and know exactly how to work together with someone
when simply entering a store after walking around outside.

When customer service is no longer a source of infinte fury,
I will know that my deed has been done.

That passion for possibility inside of your rage,
that lust for kindness inside of irritation,
I want you to see it, I want you to be able to touch it.
I want you to see someone going mad with fury over
someone else’s misuse of the friction and the tension of purpose and result,
and tell them, you are not a fool and not a creep.
You are just being as human as it gets.

I am counting on you to change the world.

2020 is going to be the greatest year in human history.

















Undulant Rave: The Feeling of Holding a Book In Your Hand (The World’s Reborn With My Next Blog Post)

A pretty long time ago, I was on an internet forum. The topic had come to “things robots will never understand”. One person said this: The feeling of holding a book in your hand after finishing it.

When I heard that, I could feel a giant valley of determination welling up from within me. Like I could be someone who really figures things out.

No. It can’t be this way. We’re not supposed to live in a world where something like holding a book can cause such a strong emotional response, and yet nobody has the tools to give that kind of sensation a name.

I’m writing to you. I’m writing to everyone. Everyone who goes online and thinks “what the hell is this whole thing for?”

I’m here for you. I’m here for everyone.

Listen to me. When you hold a book in your hand, what you feel is…..

the friction of potential and dormancy versus effect and activity.

When you close the book, when you fold it up, when you carry it with you,

you understand that this thing is just a physical object, and yet it has so many strange abilities to bend much time and space and emotion and fate…..

and yet, it may never again, although, it certainly has, you having taken it in.

It feels so weird to think that this piece of matter can inform you, inspire you, uplift others, send countless people down strange routes that may indeed be more dignified than those that have happened before.

But it may never again if it’s not opened. Not only that, the effects that it has on you or anyone may indeed be of almost no significance whatever.

But when you touch the book, and feel what it represents, you know that it is definitely some kind of beautiful flaw within reality, the kind of thing that couldn’t exist if we were not creatures

who can feel our connection and our disconnection to everything else,

who knows that time moves forward only one gigantic frame at a time.

When you hold that book, you can feel yourself undulate. You feel the tension between what something is for and what it may do.

You ache for it to fulfill something, while also being steadily in tune with its limitations.

You feel such a humble love when you hold your favorite book.

But even so, I’m not here to congratulate the world. I’m here to change it. Right here, right now, I’m solving all this rage. I’m saving 2020 because that’s what I decided.

You see, my friend, the reason we feel okay with what we do to each other

is because within nearly all malice is the lust for the possibility of true human niceness.

It all comes down to virtue.

Undulant Rave: The Ultimate Romance of Two-Person Figure Skating (The World’s Reborn in 2)

I’m not the type of person who likes to congratulate typically wholesome activities.

But for me, the most romantic thing I could imagine doing is definitely Pair Skating.

It has everything I could see that gets the loving hormones raging.

Two people doing something that almost nobody else could do, even if they trained for 20 years, and it doing it together.

Dancing dangerously upon the ice with wobbly blades, both persons entirely dependent upon one another.

Two people defying embarrassment and disaster, but also completely not held back by such worries, so devoted they are to each other.

Emotional expression and release of tension, with the entire world watching.

Moving artfully, the way that is demanded, but also the way that you wish.

And the two performers must indeed feel that within each other.

Of course, not all of them are romantic partners.

I suppose those who do not have those feelings for each other must form their own unique undulations

that give them passion for something which is so much more affectionate in its apparent flair.

Maybe they feel the love their rivals have

and a desire to surpass it.

For the sake of winning, but also for their own enjoyment.

I gave up on ice skating before I even reached age 10.

But something I did not give up on.

Behold, my performance to come.



Undulant Rave: What Makes Acting so Endearing (The World’s Reborn in 3)

Despite everything that’s happened nowadays……our views on actors remain generally the same.

Yes, we do praise celebrities and resonate with them less than we did 20 or 30 years ago….

but we still look up to them. We envy them, and not just for their money.

Plenty of have done it unprofessionally….like in school, as a side activity, or in a class that we took basically just for credit.

And we sure do know a lot about those that become superstars.

To get inside the head of a character…….that really is a beautiful thing.

But I think there’s a metaphysics to being an actor that is the primary motivation behind doing anything like that.

You feel emotions that aren’t really yours smoothly grace your own act trigger some kind of of valency. You weave them together and blossom out of them.

You try to become someone else, you mask yourself to others but in a way that does not involve deception and exploitation of the shameful sort.

Your motivation to succeed in the performance of a character becomes the whimsy and zeal of that such fictional person.

You feel the infinite lightness of your life, you also feel the boundless heaviness of what it means to connect to someone.

You feel the anxiety of not living up to expectations, you also feel the security of having something to achieve.

You taste the undulations of yourself and all that isn’t you, and all that you could be, all that you wouldn’t dare to be.

To be an actor is to be rewarded for trying to be something.

And too often, we are punished for trying to be the best version of ourselves.

Perhaps this is why actors seem to smile, even those we know are really suffering.

Because they know what it means to not be held back in your attempts at personal growth. They are people who have tried oh so very hard to feel as though they matter.

And they do not feel shame for this.

Yet even now, saying that, I seem to realize why in older times,

actors might have been seen as uncouth human beings lacking in much dignity.

They may have been seen as pathetic, making a job out of trying to relate to others, but with no actual consequences for catered social interactions.

I can see how people would love characters but see their vessels as tacky vagabonds.

Acting is an art in which the self is the creative work.

Those false selves become the rainbows stuck inside of long recordings

for us to love forever.

They inspire however they may,

like some kind of very unusually lucky plantlife may spread its seeds.

But I have even bigger dreams.












Undulant Rave: The Whimsy of Choosing A Street Light (The World’s Reborn in 4)

Have you ever been on your way home,

coming toward an intersection,

given the choice of,

do I take the longer way that comes to me far sooner,

or do I wait for the traffic light to change,

to take a shorter path?

What a lovely little moment,

a richly perfect moment.

Forced to make a decision, so very inconsequential.

On the way to a decision, where one must choose that trivially wonderful feeling of saved time

or that wonderfully trivial sensation of less effort henceforth made.

So very ridiculous, so very meaningful.

A juncture without significant undulations into the passageways within your life,

that feels so very big when you are there.

A mature feeling mischievousness that makes the day a bit warmer.

For this I cannot hate mankind.





Undulant Rave: The Essence of Threading a Needle (The World’s Reborn in 5)

There are many ways to push a needle through thread.

I couldn’t tell you much about them, not knowing how to sew.

But I know that you can stiffen the thread, stiffen the needle, loosen the thread, or loosen the needle.

Change the relationship between thread and needle in several ways. Performing amazing feats of acuity with your fingers. Leave it up to luck and/or persistence.

When you finally push it through the hole, you feel glad that your technique worked.

And yet, you know, it might not have worked. You know it might not have represented your strength.

This is part of the rush of accomplishing things. This is what makes you smile- the friction of your accomplishments being entirely deserved, and just being what you happened to do.

Your connection and lack of connection to everything, given a form. Your moving into a state of pride, but with restraint that lifts you up. The power of the mature mischief that we all share.

The thing you seek to elegantly reach out into when trying to change someone.

I seek to thread that needle of

“Why has kindness never been enough?”

It has a lot to do with the lack of guarantees within your efforts,

and the urge to tame that power over possibility,

and have others do the same,

even if it means causing certain people lots of trouble,

for those who can’t or those who you don’t think deserve

to find their way through life.

I sew the world a garment.