I returned to my college campus, like I had so many other times.
Having finally founded purpose-result friction theory, I tried to remember things about my past I could see anew.
Not being allowed into the entrance to linger or use the facilities, I remembered their system for letting students, faculty, and alumni on campus.
You are required to show your I.D. card as you walk in through any of the several gates.
You don’t have to show it carefully. You can just kind of wave it around.
The guard may easily not see your I.D. But you shall show it anyway.
The I.D. could not be valid. But you would use it anyway.
I recalled one of my professors ranting for a little about how the system is useless.
He said, it wastes time, and people could easily bypass the guards, or use a wrong I.D. card.
That assertion produced within me great frustrations that I did find catharsis for until just a few hours ago.
This man, this professor, paid tens of thousands of dollars or more to be a teacher,
He was operating on the friction and tension of purposes and results.
This teacher would not tell you, if he were more evolved, that he literally believed that the I.D. system was entirely useless.
After all, at least quite a few instances of unfairly snooping on the campus must have been prevented at some point.
But the notion of a person daydreaming about how gloriously effective the “flash your damn ID” system was, certainly vexed this professor.
Because surely whoever enacted it may have smiled at the mild inconvenience of having your ID card out being somehow, a worthwhile cost for greater safety,
while not being guaranteed to keep anyone and everyone out who did not belong there.
Now, I personally believe the ID system must have done a great job compared to what was happening before, being a fairly decent deterrent of trespassers, giving accountability, in general, to people who want to go inside of the campus’s many gates.
But what frustrates me is that this man probably agreed with this reasonable and worthwhile endeavor that was enacted years ago.
He might not have even earnestly wished for that system to be changed, he might have even admired that changed to the college.
But he still felt the need to complain.
He had to decry something that infuriated him.
There was something about “hey, you’ve got to show your ID” that made him feel proudly adamant.
He knew that having to take an extra step was not a huge endeavor. He knew that it would be fair for even professors to abide. He knew that terribly imperfect misbehavior deterrents are how so many aspects of society manage to hold together.
But you could see the heat inside of his cheeks! You could feel the confidence in his eyes! You could see the power in his massive derision in his lips!
He was being something I ached for someone to be able to explain! To bring into the fucking discourse!
Security-based, safety-aimed policies that cause inconvenience
are based upon exploiting the tension that exists inside of one situation versus all like situations.
Even those which are harder to justify.
They do not exactly accuse anyone of being potentially harmful. But those who enforce them act detached from that kind of scorn.
That proud distance and belligerent lack of distance in one’s attitude toward other people
shapes the magnetism of the will to either obey or defy.
Look at the mask situation, for example.
You have the anti-masker saying, if they were more evolved
“I get that you aren’t necessarily trying to inconvenience me, but acting like you’re really , truly not is something I could never respect.”
You have the pro-masker, on the right side of history but still foolish, speaking with their will
“I know you might be suspecting me as someone who could cause harm with strictness, but I respect that you are acting upon better purposes, but this is not a situation where you should make it like that.”
The one who defies the policy, the professor upset about needing ID, does not necessarily have a sense of justification in the statistics that show
it might not be exactly as great a solution that was suggested.
The one who abides, the student taking strange pleasure in showing ID despite not being a trespasser, feeling joy in rather unneccessary contribution, rules barely worth following,
does not consider any proven efficacy of the system as proof that it is not a little bit degrading.
I myself have wished away needing to fiddle with my wallet before. And yet I feel proud about having to.
Fellow human, is that something you really hate? Is that a trait that you really love?
No, it’s in the nexus, it’s a way you feel about someone engaged in the tension between what something is meant for, versus what something might do.
The wavering and pontificating on the heat inside the grinding of causes and effects.
Those of who you feel disgust or respect at the will to be egregiously cooperative have so much in common and society has failed to show you what trait is, that purpose-result friction which motivates nearly everything big brained animals have done.
Literally everyone, from the beginning of human history, arguing, arguing, arguing, about whether any thing leads to what its intentions are, given evidence to the contrary, retreating into the lack of kindness in the intentions of that thing,
wavering from the futility of intended effects toward the indignity in successful results, always swinging and swinging and swing, horizontal and vertical, x axis and y axis, over and over and over and over, ugly and ugly and feeling beautiful and beautiful, on and on and on and on until and past something as horrific as nuclear warfare comes rather close to passing!
Over and over and over and over and it never ends, it never freaking fucking ends,
and I’m sick sick sick sick sick of people being this way to each other,
sick sick sick and tired of seeing things like the coronavirus situation happen and barely even batting an eye at the how and why someone would be so eager to not wear a mask.
And if it makes me a fucking narcissist of the very worst type
to insist that I’ve discovered a fucking emotion,
that I think of myself as 75 brillion times smarter than every last psychologist and pseudo scientist and social fucking commentator who ever lived on this tiny huge oblate spheroid of an island, living and living and dying and dying and dreaming and dreaming and dreaming and dreaming and dreaming and dreaming of the one day, the one fucking day
that human beings finally succeed in not treating each other like total pieces of shit, by fixing what it is inside of the people who really do try very hard at being very NICE to each other but make absolutely terribly examples of themselves to the most belligerent among us who lie upon the fringe, fitting into society extremely effectively and proudly and doing the things we call each other “badass” or “asshole” for with such high energy upon so many internet forums and in so many public freakouts that we put upon display on that internet!
I’m mad, very mad, because I think there’s a dignified balance that we’re close to achieving
and you can see it in fiction and inventions and good relationships and in marketing and music videos and video games and dating profiles and livestreams, private clubs and gardens and disenfranchised groups, and the cries for change in proud majority mother fuckers who hardly ever change themselves but are still not entirely and fully the fascist pieces of shit that you claim them to be.
These mega conservative people you call so many shitty nicknames are terrible, very terrible, I actually think they’re more vile than you say they are, because if we could figure how to get them to love themselves just a little bit less, reliably and unsarcastically,
then you would not be screaming and crying and bitching and biting at your fucking spouse or brother or sister or roommate or whoever in the mother fucking morning after morning after morning
about who should or should not have done what or who is nicer in general than the other and who is the villainous culprit!
I know that some of you are reading this and might leave me a like or a follow and think I have a pretty amusing sort of blog that might be worth some tiny bit of value. You think I might be entertaining. But I assure that I think of myself as saying things that possess many tens of thousands or million or billions of times more value than anything else I’ve ever read.
Detachment from one’s actions is what we honor and denigrate the most. Clinging to one’s faults is that which we worship and pity the most.
I am exposing this emotion, the passion for exploiting the agreed upon dubiousness of connections of anything to anything else.
But if you’re sick of it all, in love with it all, tired of the internet, hopeful for the internet, exhausted by the polarization, tantalized by social division, driven to make a change by the limitations placed upon the reach of your own life, motivated soft and severely by finding something that can keep us from being as good to each other as we fucking act like we are,
Then I implore the fuck out of you to reading Invoke Yourself: a Human Manifesto.
Or just keep up with me, as I have reached the point where my theory has been distilled.
The old professor whining about showing his ID,
The people who doubtlessly disagree,
and the one person who managed to dissect such a social rich point, that was me.
I am ashamed at the bigness of the college library.
If I had it my way, the world would only listen to people like me.
At least for a while, until the rest of the world changes.
And we wouldn’t fucking whine, and we wouldn’t obey blind.
We would be SO FUCKING KIND.