It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?
We’ve been up to it for decades.
Trying, desperately, passionately, intelligently, carefully, recklessly, beautifully,
to try and have everyone be treated just like they are someone
with no alternative attractions.
We try and try we try, and we succeed, and we fail, and we fail, and succeed, and succeed, and the failure finds a plateau. And billions remain on the other side.
Let me crack the code for you. Let me show you what does not get breached.
Let me explain the fire you can’t fight fully with fire.
Let me stop you from hanging onto the cliches of “hate” and “bigotry”
so that one day, the referents of them may indeed be properly destroyed.
You have to deconstruct the happiness.
You have to calmly negate the joy.
You must obliterate the feelings of specialness.
You need to look someone in the eyes and say without speaking,
“I get why you feel interesting and lovely.”
Within he or she who staunchly defends the sheerly normal sexual identity
are the same warm, colorful feelings.
The sense of something so hectic and tumultuous as the relationships among men and women managing to produce a typical stable family life makes them feel gorgeous.
Finding a place of stability and strength within those dynamics of lust and personality feels wonderfully outrageous.
The weirdness of wanting to belong with, or physically consummate with, and even support with all your might, someone who is like the other half of humanity, feels like such an unusual and powerful thing. And the way it all leans toward the act of reproduction is strangely tender and humbling.
Do you feel a little bit nauseous? Do you feel closer to that who you’ve made out to be the villain?
Don’t. They are the antagonist of a fairer future. But you can’t fight them like this anymore. It’s not working.
Their passion is not invalid. But even so, it must be taken care of, so that people don’t suffer the indignity of their mischief. And the blight of their maturity.
Things will change when you can make someone feel as though they have the power to civilize. You can tell them right to their face you hate what they are doing.
But just make them feel like they are hunting for dignity, and they won’t fight you in quite the same way.
People go too far when they hold back. They only kind of connect people to anything.
There is always friction, there is always tension.
A hunter’s sense of adaptability. A civilized sense of flexibility.
A knowledge that anything you do may be egregious.
Stare the heteronormative defender in their face with the look of “I get you.” Don’t let them even give you adrenaline.
Their passion for being connecting, loosely, to some ideal sexual nature,
is not too different for yours of being validated for something you wish was not seen as a defiance.
As such, you mire in the flames of “new and special” versus “classic and traditional”. Just as they do, even the most anti-progressive of us.
If you can show you have the same kind of friction inside you, they’ll be endeared by you without even knowing it.
That’s what’s already happened, right? Let’s keep moving onward.
And as for those who’ve taken up the mantle of “gender” as a means for being liberated from the expectations of your sex…..well….I don’t know how far you’ll ever get.
There are a lot of reasons your battle resembles the battle to destroy that such endeavor.
Being connected and not connected to that which is and is not like you,
making demands that are really quite intense but also really modest in a lot of ways,
and trying to win the games of laws and demographics….
when you look at the way the world is, I have no clue if you’ll ever get as far as you think.
I surmise, in a world where you can’t make people call you smart or nice or interesting,
guiding or coercing others to call you male or female or neither or both…..is quite the heavy order.
Enough to make you feel beyond crushed.
But to that, I say,
just try and see the rainbows in the mind of the people who frustrate you the most,
exploit them into coming closer to your side.
Maybe interact with them in a steadier and more graceful way,
and this very big, bombastic cultural mission
might go a lot more smoothly.
I’ll continue trying to find ways to criticize the most average and uninteresting of us,
so that those with the most interesting but innocent complications might be treated a fuckton better.
Perhaps the real obstacle is culture itself,
and without it you’d have won the battle already.
And that’s all I’ll say, as the world itself transitions.