Dragon Headed Research;Notes 11/5/21 – Super Awful People Possess Magical Voting Booth Energy

Election day was a few days ago……as usual, I went to vote, despite not having too much passion about the race.

There’s just something really beautiful about it.

It fits perfectly into the paradigm I’ve laid out.

It’s a way to satisfy myself in a way I already understand, though few seem to get.

I’m sure even someone who longs for monarchy or whatever the hell else is supposedly better than democracy……can totally understand the mind and the heart of the voter.

This is how I see it- it’s a very hunter-headed, dragon-hearted thing.

To go into the booth, to cast a ballot,

you feel very small, very useless.

But also very big, very important.

Your heart seems to flutter.

You’re working as part of a team, while doing something quite very alone.

Your mind seems electrified.

You think about what good may or be not come from your side winning the contest.

You feel humbled. But emboldened.

This is an experience that makes you feel deep, tough, civil, and rebellious.

It’s so very rich. Can you savor that, right now?

That sense of being off of what’s expected of a human but also very fucking valuable and decent.

Some words of advice for you.

Something I beg of you.

If you want to get inside the head of someone who makes you feel like your own head is being ripped apart,

for the sake of maintaining your own composure, for the wish that things somehow change for the better for everyone,

(let’s say, a horrible customer, a blatant bully, a crooked boss, a general saboteur of peace)

try this on for size.

Think about how nobody doesn’t get…..the joy of voting.

How nobody has to be taught why it’s beautiful or interesting.

The pumped up feeling in your chest that knows you’re not hot shit but you’ve got stuff to do that’s fucking worth it.

And see how that growling fury must reside within somebody doing something

that gives you anguish, frustration, and woe.

That sense of composed power, of humble contribution,

it exists within a person that you feel is acting their worst.

Hideous public freakouts….

feel like a referendum against what that person sees as despicable demeanor.They feel connected to people they wish had the “bravery” they did.

They feel they might be striking down, partially, but powerfully,

what they see as smug excess in human will.

People want so badly to be the one that slays that festering example of malice despite empathy. They want it so bad that they’ll do some pretty obscene things for it.

They’ll come up with extravagant customs to enforce it.

They’ll go off the rails and make everyone suffer for it.

This may be the difference between a villain on a friendly public television kids’ show

and a villain in a well-weaved epic conflict.

While the bumbling oaf is a like a child desperate for simplistic gain,

the brooding vengeance-maker sees their own self

as a contentious and dangerous piece of the puzzle on the way to the day

in which the real actual worst people get what’s coming to them

and the real actual decent people can be left the fuck alone.

While the obscenity of rage can tear so apart so much kindness, there’s something not purely obscene at the core.

I suppose this is what’s being exploited when someone is talked down for being blatantly out of line inside a grocery store, or a classroom, or a courtroom, or on the street.

People aren’t so goddamn dopey and useless that they aren’t…..cognizant of what it means to act like you’re bigger than others, or that what you’re doing matters more than others, or that they’re dipping into actions that most would find abhorrent.

If socially adjusted adults were really as dumb as you say, as evil as you say, as totally fucking sick as you say, then entire towns and cities couldn’t function the way they do, day after day, day after day.

Day after day after day, people see themselves defying their own idea of what an ugly, cruel, inconsiderate, unhelpful, overall very very very bad person is.

And given no credit for that, they are rather hard to console.

If you can make people think you’re giving them some credit, non-sarcastically for the shit they’re doing even if you hate it, that’s usually enough to make you win against someone at their angriest.

Just as the wistful dreams of the billions at the ballot box

become opportunities for the vain but responsible folks in the lawmaker’s chair,

people long to feel they are

indirectly adjusting whatever it is that makes us truly despicable.

And they’ll succeed at it too.

And be encouraged by how incredibly roundabout actions led to somebody else acting so good.

But never absolutely, no, never, never ever, ever, is any big-brained adult truly satisfied with what they’ve wrought.

Even at the heights of prideful ecstasy, there’s something discontented.

There’s a nagging voice, underneath, saying,

the fish is gonna slip out of your hands.

You haven’t cured anything.

It’s still not fucking worth it.

Asshole behavior lives on.

They’ll undo all you did.

But I still believe, despite all of this,

there is a way to make the project of actually making us decent

a total and complete success.

I believe that it is possible that you can make a reality where people can ask each other to do things for each other, without having to dread whatever happens inside of that exchange.

You just need to get closer, closer, closer, into seeing how others roar with sincerity,

with that magnificent urge to strike down the unpleasant people.

You can tame the dragon that it is us, when you see that everyone knows what it means to over-value their own selves in a way that seems to fit snugly into to the coat of human awesomeness.

But for now, if my words confuse you, can you at least feel my teeth clenching with affection, at our poorly used desires?

Published by commanderdoubledge

As strange as Willy Wonka, as sincere as Benjamin Franklin, I am the one who is going to bring purpose to the internet. I am Commander L1 Doubledge.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: