Cultural Rave: The Warm Mystique of Celebrating Holidays and Anniversaries (L1: Redemptive Revengeance)

I am making my 60th post.

Don’t you think it’s charming?

How we try to pin special qualities toward marching forward,

only reaching a number or passing some interval in time.

We celebrate how long businesses and clubs have been around,

how long we have been alive,

the achievements of humans who have vanished from physical presence,

and even occurrences in nature which involved

no one particularly trying to change anything about anything.

Lives and deaths are made occasions.

Dreams and disasters are made into holidays.

Special events are made out of events which will no longer happen.

And we place them onto points according to a certain amount of spaces away from each other.

We know it is arbitrary to celebrate anything at all,

even things which just happened, things which benefit us obviously.

The desire to make holidays and anniversaries is not really a mere tradition

or a pathetic excuse to try and make meaning out of anything happening anywhere,

No, that’s not it. Choosing to anniversarize anything at all

is endearing, because regarding anything as impressive or praise worthy

is something we all know has a very dubious value.

Humans are humbled by their own dream of giving value to anything,

of being pathetically driven to make anything happen through learning from

the errors inside the goal of human kindness.

Inside of a holiday, inside an anniversary,

is a heart leaning towards what feels like glory.

And I support that aspiration for being very glorious,

and wanting to do great things for other people,

for what else could possibly be a goal with any worth?

If that is your goal,

if that is anyone’s goal,

I think it can only be enhanced by seeing what holidays really are to people.

In a holiday, people feel beneath the achievements of others, and also seethe to surpass them. You’ve got humbleness, you’ve got vanity.

On a civil holiday, people enjoy feeling like servants to society, but more assured that someone else is living the wrong way, who isn’t part of that group.

On a holiday, you’re motivated to increase the kindness that may exist somewhere in this world, but you also smile at the unkindness you want to break apart.

To insist that anything is worth making a FUCKING day over

is exactly the type of thing that people everywhere find endearing.

Because humans aspire to be strong, with the right limitations.

They desire leisure, with the of goal increasing productivity.

They want to have fun and be freaky, but in a way other people approve of.

They want to prop other people in ways that are are a little bit fucked up,

so that fucked up pieces of shit don’t take over society.

Holidays with particularly flashy celebrations

allow us to get a little bit closer to separating the “wacky assholes” from the “cool fellows”.

by giving us ways to be weird within the expectations of society.

And that’s not something I can condemn.

Because if people step outside in the morning trying only to be an ordinarily kind person,

it’s not likely to work out.

There has to be contingency for embarrassing failure,

for crippling desperation to feel as though others’ praise is actually worthwhile.

That’s the type of thing holidays enrich inside of us:

the notion that someone’s whimsy of self-worth has a chance to stand on its legs.

But it has yet to really happen.


I love holidays. I don’t shit on people

for celebrating their YouTube channel being around for 50 days.

That’s what people should do.

We should honor egregiously.

We should eat and dance and do all sorts of random fucking shit

within the confines of human civility.

But for fuck’s fucking sake….where is the civility now?

Where the hell did it all go?

We’re nice enough to function,

and we’ve got all this fucking dysfunction most of us which would just get settled.

But I think I have a solution.

Because I know what inside of myself

and in other people causes us to be dishonorably honorable.

And I could beg you to read my blog,

or I could just ask you to live by this line.

Which I admit I only conjured until a few weeks ago, despite working on this thing for about a year.

Here’s my quote, here’s what I want you to take on.

People are about the passion for properly exploiting the agreed upon effective and moral dubiousness of linking anything or anyone to anything else.

You only need holidays as an example to see

what makes a person feel like a badass, when you call them an asshole.

Giving praise where it’s kind of due,

conforming but being creative,

trying to be strong but flexible with people.


If you can’t see what makes a person feel balanced, humanity doesn’t stand a chance.

Enough with the good and the evil.

Enough with the satire and the heartwarming dog photos.

Enough with the magnificent anime with endearing heroes who almost cause disasters.

Enough with the clever references to other pieces of media.

Enough with the half-satisfying takedowns of people on the other side of the fence that don’t do fucking anything to change them.

Enough with people treating their families half like garbage and half like they really matter.

And especially, fuck people gaining extreme satisfaction out of making things inconvenient for others, who suck at fitting in society.

I’ve seen so much fuckshittery

and I’ve reached a point where the passion inside of me to change it all

has me screaming inside with hope for change far greater than any of your political superheroes.

Fuck it all. For one day, fuck it all.

Just think about what makes people feel bizarrely and uncuttably dignified.

And try to slice through that,

and cut yourself in the process too.

The name of my sword:

People are about the passion for properly exploiting the agreed upon effective and moral dubiousness of linking anything or anyone to anything else.

Holidays are cool and all, since you’re not really forced to celebrate them.

But you want to know what makes them kind of shitty?

It’s someone trying to insist that you should be doing something to honor something else.

Like asking someone to meet with you to settle a dispute,

like expecting a message back on social media even when you respect their right to not talk to you.

Holidays are emotionally and socially attached and not attached attempts at weaving meaning from the past, so that the future can be better.

We really don’t talk about future weaving enough when talking about who’s got the right kind of justice.

No matter how much you make fun of someone’s culture,

they’re still using the uncanny ability to make someone somewhere much kinder.

You can’t change cultures any more than we have because

People are about the passion for properly exploiting the agreed upon effective and moral dubiousness of linking anything or anyone to anything else.

That’s right, modern values ain’t changing third world countries until we get our own fuckery sorted out.

Having a comfortable distance between your intents and your actions,

that’s what makes people feel so fucking balanced and elegant

when dealing with each other and the world.

Everyone besides the silliest of small children

is filled with detachment from themselves when they take drastic actions.

It’s that distance from oneself which inspired oneself to be proud of being a badass.

Everyone else has got that same energy flowing out of them, trying to use their version of being a good person as a motivator for selfish interests.

And don’t we manifest this in so fights in movies?

We have been trying to unwrap our fucked up heroism because

People are about the passion for properly exploiting the agreed upon effective and moral dubiousness of linking anything or anyone to anything else.

I wanted to to keep writing, but I might have to take a break.

All those street fights, all that Karen shit, all that immigration stuff,

all that voter fraud fiasco, all the bitching about nations at war, all the complaining about the environment,

all the wistful wishing for the internet to somehow make people better instead of more savage.

I don’t hate people for any of this.

But it all might change if people understood that

everyone feels like the mother fucker showing restraint and discretion.

Everyone holds back a little.

Everyone is ready to correct mistakes.

Everyone is ready to cooperate.

Everyone is ready to work hard to be a good person.

What pisses us off is when other people

are trying to exploit that shit for their own gain

But they don’t feel guilty, why?

Why are people so eager to fuck around with others?

Because people are ready to exploit themselves,

and are proud to navigate their time in this universe

by making big changes, and taking unexpected turns,

and being strange, and letting go of some of their own dreams.

People don’t feel shame in exploiting others because they’re masters of exploiting themselves.

Most of what people see as evil and fucked up

isn’t so different from their own version of being a hero.

The real villain in humanity isn’t prejudice, or selfishness, or fear, or love, or disgust, or primal instincts, or superstition, or ideology, or the distribution of resources.

Your big bad is this: people working hard to sift through the bullshit involved in trying to do good things and feel dignified,

and falling madly in love with how properly nasty it felt to do what allowed that goal to be achieved.

People are almost always working hard at being nice.

Or at least, they’ve respected that dream.

Or they have some admiration for the challenge to get other people to like you for seeming nice.

So much shit you think is depraved is really just people being the interesting exception

to the “sharing and caring” stuff they were taught by growing when they were 4 goddamn years old.

I’ve got a dream. And it’s a very big dream.

And no, it’s not some kind of “everybody act like they’re a nice little fairy” dream.

It’s the day when one person looks at another person in the eyes

and sees the game the other person is playing.

That’s all I want.

That’s all we need.

I don’t know about the whole world,

but when I see what’s going on in my country,

I think the biggest colossal gap inside our intellect

is not seeing other people as far-flung possibility makers and unusual dignity cravers.

The lust to make the possibility of unlikely dignity somehow be born,

that’s what we share.

It’s obvious that

people are about the passion for properly exploiting the agreed upon effective and moral dubiousness of linking anything or anyone to anything else.

But lets take it back to the level of people trying to get things done,

at the local and home level.

People, working, getting things done at home, being students,

disconnect themselves from responsibility, and it makes you furious,

so you end up connecting irresponsibility to them they might not even have,

because that indeed might make the world a more responsible place,

or perhaps because that helps you feel like you’re making a slash of justice.

People, employees, family members, service givers,

associate you with malice, when you haven’t got any,

so you end up ascribing hate to them you know they don’t have,

Attachment to things, detachment from things,

because that’s the human fucking game.

We’re all so used to being half sincere

that’s what we all are,

That’s all any one can ever be.

Connected and disconnected,

in the right way.

And I can see the threads that I want to cut and rearrange.

I want to do the last thing anyone ever gave an obscene amount of credit for.

And end up barely appreciated.

People working in supermarkets

get blamed for being things they didn’t do.

And nobody does anything about it.

We praise the victimized cashier,

we denigrate the bad customer,

but it remains something we don’t even teach children about.

We get our passion from how to be a good employee

from supernatural genocide anime.

Because the passion for creating possibility, weirdly, isn’t something we teach.

We wait until we’re out of school to find out how people will fuck with us.

We don’t even say the word retail a single fucking time in high school.

That’s where so many of us go right after,

and the education system acts like the world isn’t even built on grocery stores.

The world is built upon trying to balance respectable consistency and endearing flexbility,

but all we do is give teenagers hard homework

that is either done well or poorly,

ability and motivation creating obvious results.

The world’s not just about improving ability and summoning motivation…..for fuck’s sake, any good fiction could show you that.

Employees have to do work that they aren’t asked for. Deal with mother fuckers they’ve never met. Try to come out on top when customers and clients and being asses.

And they do so much shit they don’t get taught.

We don’t see the possibility kung-fu that people do when trying to get things done.

They don’t see the who’s the dignified one here swordplay people do when trying to order a fucking sandwich at a deli.

Students everywhere, age 11 and up, should have this in their classroom wall.

People are about the passion for properly exploiting the agreed upon effective and moral dubiousness of linking anything or anyone to anything else.

In my dream, people running a cash register will be respected

because they’re just trying to manipulate courses of events to prevent someone from being kind of a piece of a shit, in their lust for feeling respectable.

Navigating the possibilities in a social space is how the world works….

and we don’t even act like that’s something worth talking about.

Do we need historical fiction?

There’s as much depth

in somebody trying to buy a couch

as there is in any ancient epic.

The struggle to balance sincere helpfulness and necessary etiquette

is what it takes to become a good worker.

And we don’t put this in school.

If we do teach kids to value that struggle,

it’s only done in an extremely vain manner,

that congratulates people so much for fucking with others moralistically,

it just reaches the point of enabling powerful disgust for people who suck at commanding respect.

All you cultural overlords and justice warriors

are better off with those tentacles on your body getting cut off.

That’s right, everybody’s a cyborg,

and when we interact with other people,

we know that linking people, actions, intentions, and results,

and that also acting as though they may not be connected

is a very fucked up but proper thing,

but those four arms are very ready to pummel the arms of other people,

striking and dodging,

working together, maneuvering together,

creating weapons, cutting through themselves,

in a way that feels oh so very sleek and satisfying.

Human beings, their dreams, the things they do, and what comes from what they’ve done,

everyone knows that linking any of them together entirely is hogwash.

If you really thought person seems mean=person should be attacked, you’d be a fucking dog. And we’re not dogs.

You can see when people are trying to weave results from a purpose.

The human attack dog feels so much more sure about assaulting their prey.

Because they know they don’t disagree with the justice of taking out an enemy.

I don’t know if I can end war,

but if we can make the social wars that happened every day more civil,

maybe the richest and strongest nations could be a little more responsible.

They might be able to see who actually literally doesn’t get off on what inside of us gets a warmonger off.

No more fucking fighting, eh? Leave it to video games.

All you gotta do is see what’s happening when someone is trying to be flexible with you.

See the blame, the deflection, the sincerity, the desperation.

It’s about coming on top despite the social agonies.

That’s what I do. That’s what you do.

That’s what heroes do. That’s what villains do.

That’s what we all do.

We try to fucking navigate the possibilities that could happen.

We try to feel good about ourselves for the things we did.

Some people get off on making conflicts where they shouldn’t be,

because that leads to so many noble goals getting completed.

People make heroes out of people who barely deserve it,

because that’s how anyone and everyone wants to feel

when their dreams are being made worthless.

I want to see that day come, where we don’t need heroes anymore.

No more fucking fighting. At least not with those tears of pride coming down your face.

People, actions, intents, and results. Linking any of them together is weird. Separating them is also bizarre. And that’s the weapon we carry when we go outside.

We cut and link things to suit what feels like a dignified way to move through spacetime.

Use that sword without acting like a bandit. Be more like a samurai or some shit.

Wield the way you fuck with other people without being so honored by being capable of that such swordplay.

That’s all it’s gonna take to make humans “nice to each other”. That’s all.

Take that bizarre blade you carry that magnetizes ill intent onto people before cutting them,

And use it without the same joy.

This is the only way for us to become kinder than we are.

That’s the next stage of civilization beyond the bitchy shitty kindhearted closeness of the internet.

We’re tuning up its power to make us better people.

If we were to finally start being nice to each other,

would that not become a holiday?

But no matter who does what,

whether or not anyone respects me in the slightest,

this remains the only phrase that could ever cut through the current cultural landscape.

I’m extremely proud of it, and I hope you do something with it.

The next time you blame someone for something you know they aren’t quite,

but don’t feel like a hypocrite,

let the power of this statement guide you.

Write it on your fucking arm.

People are about the passion for properly exploiting the agreed upon effective and moral dubiousness of linking anything or anyone to anything else.

Have a good night, America.

Published by commanderdoubledge

As strange as Willy Wonka, as sincere as Benjamin Franklin, I am the one who is going to bring purpose to the internet. I am Commander L1 Doubledge.

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